Kids: Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of... - FML

By Tabby - 06/08/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 598

You deserved it 3 863

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Same thing different taste

By Mina - 08/05/2019 14:00

Today, my son came home from school with a catastrophic report card. When I asked him for explanations, he replied, "I'm hesitating between family environment and heredity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 328

By Anonymous - 25/05/2012 01:37 - United States - Lawrence

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 721

You deserved it 4 237

The genetics expert has logged on

By Fucking moron - 27/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 395

By Sadmom - 14/09/2016 02:15 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 956

You deserved it 1 434

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 681

You deserved it 7 565

By dumbteacher - 22/11/2010 14:47

Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 678

You deserved it 7 559

By fucked by sex ed - 29/03/2013 17:18 - United States - Manchester

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 878

You deserved it 17 014

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

By Joel Lee Burgess - 15/02/2021 22:59 - United States

Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 365

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

By Mom - 17/07/2023 15:00

Today, I told my 21 year-old son he either has to break up with his girlfriend, who fills his head with lies about me, or I'd stop speaking to him. He laughed and said he'd fine with us not speaking ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 1 461

By Raiders4ever - 21/10/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 377

You deserved it 24 983

Next

Top comments

panda1o 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 1:46

hes gonna go far.

Mipz 2

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:17

You've proven yourself dumber than him.

Comments

dreamering 16

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:03

The English language no, but the intellect yes.

iloveboyswittats 10

Sunday 7 August 2011 5:27

There is evidence to support the fact that infants are born with some innate understanding of there own language.

justalilrandom2 4

Sunday 7 August 2011 11:35

You can play them music in the womb and they will recognise it, it stands to reason for language too. And seeing as all animals have some form of genetic memory in the form of reflexes and natural tendencies, could language not be in there too?

Nhk_fml 4

Monday 8 August 2011 16:10

Agree with 59 while what he said is wrong, it is sort of right.

Isoldael 27

Thursday 28 June 2012 0:44

Things you "learn" while in the womb are still not genetic, though.

PurpleFrostingg 7

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:10

he sounds like a smart guy

whatever222 3

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:10

haha! that's kinda funny

celticsfan69 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 5:36

Ya that is kinda funny

notouchyy 6

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:11

Hmm maybe he just thought the language came along with the ethinicty?

RyanMacVey 17

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:19

like if his parents were asian he would be good at maths?

Mipz 2

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:17

You've proven yourself dumber than him.

Mipz 2

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:20

If he was like, I dunno, seven, it would have been cute. But not a teenager.

yrkamurka 4

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:27

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree :3

rabbittboi 18

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:30

Sounds like said apple hit OP's son on the head.

knight0748 5

Sunday 7 August 2011 3:30

sounds like newton baby!!

Kayzee01 8

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:30

... wait, what?

knight0748 5

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:30

I can't think of anything more stupid to comment on this... you son got me beat...

ryanst 7

Sunday 7 August 2011 2:31

5's parents must have bad English genes..

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