Love: Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being...

By lex - 14/02/2013 11:01 - United States

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 12 285

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/11/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 213

You deserved it 6 663

By godhatesme - 26/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 628

You deserved it 36 844

By Lindsay - 07/02/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 448

You deserved it 44 142

By SY5623 - 12/08/2015 00:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 881

You deserved it 1 932

Stumped

By walkingdictionary - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 755

You deserved it 37 201

What word was it?

By BigBall - 09/09/2023 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 709

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 417

You deserved it 31 993

By Alyssasgoneawol - 24/12/2016 09:33 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with some firefighters. They were too focused on the fire to notice my hints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 695

By idefka - 08/04/2017 02:00

Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 515

You deserved it 1 861

By randomgirl - 07/01/2012 14:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 110

You deserved it 14 827

HowieDoIt 21

Thursday 14 February 2013 16:25

She said coitus didn't she?

Cbizzlez 10

Thursday 14 February 2013 16:25

You must be auxin, because your causing me to have rapid stem elongation.

Comments

HeartOfLead 24

Friday 15 February 2013 5:44

He probably saw the confused look on your face and wanted to lend you his dicktionary.

danapark 6

Friday 15 February 2013 6:30

Blonde problems.

Japie89 3

Friday 15 February 2013 12:50

Penny?

bexxiiee 11

Friday 15 February 2013 21:19

I feel sorry for you, but YDI for being a dumbass...

kristirhong 12

Saturday 16 February 2013 22:20

This actually happened to me once too. XD

chuckcloninger 12

Sunday 17 February 2013 8:13

You may not be smart enough for this person.

suiyuan1314 6

Tuesday 19 February 2013 8:57

lol

flashback_fml 14

Tuesday 18 June 2013 9:09

Are you a "special person"

TcheQ 12

Tuesday 23 July 2013 8:14

I want to know what the word(s) was/were :S

Federgirl 19

Sunday 26 January 2014 0:52

LoL that stinks!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 056

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

The Top

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 331

You deserved it 6 277

Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 565

You deserved it 16 940

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 212

You deserved it 3 224

Today, I had a job interview at Walmart. They showed a video of me stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 1 969

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 772

You deserved it 10 098

Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 849

You deserved it 3 546

Same thing different taste

Stumped

What word was it?

Nice try

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