Work: Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my...

By mareecasellafml - 27/03/2015 09:51 - Australia - Belrose

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 433

You deserved it 4 248

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Same thing different taste

By waitingformyfoodstamps - 24/01/2009 10:50 - United States

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 113

You deserved it 8 395

Forwarded

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 16:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 275

You deserved it 7 759

By nojob - 07/05/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 147

You deserved it 4 473

By babyfatt - 16/12/2009 08:23 - Australia

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 613

You deserved it 27 221

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 916

You deserved it 7 784

By Jobless - 13/08/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 982

You deserved it 4 356

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 317

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 283

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 774

You deserved it 4 496

By I'm a joke? - 30/05/2013 05:37

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 646

You deserved it 4 182

ohjoy15 33

Friday 27 March 2015 16:51

Proofread. Can never do it too many times.

cutycat136 28

Friday 27 March 2015 16:53

Make him stand on the side of the road with a big sign that reads 'I messed up my girls resumes and wrote on them that she had a dick. I am the dick'

Comments

JICor 7

Saturday 28 March 2015 3:15

It's funny but wrong... but funny.

shinikageWolf 15

Saturday 28 March 2015 6:18

Yes you have a dick and balls, formerly his. Not they are in a jar in your purse.

GamerPerson 19

Saturday 28 March 2015 7:34

Beat his ass. I'm all for jokes, but that's NOT something you mess with. You never mess with someone's livelihood.

RedRogue85 10

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:14

That does suck, but that's also priceless XD

alex101676 8

Saturday 28 March 2015 13:48

your boyfriend is an asshole. drop him.

koda2 6

Saturday 28 March 2015 16:33

That is actually pretty funny, but that sucks

thatsme293 28

Saturday 28 March 2015 17:47

Print it out and make him eat it.

Epickitty58 29

Saturday 28 March 2015 18:02

You do have a dick, OP. It's your boyfriend.

annihil8or 15

Saturday 28 March 2015 18:38

OP, your boyfriend's an idiot, but this is completely your fault. If YOU want a job why would you rely on HIM to write your resume? You should be professional enough to put it in your own words (with a healthy dose of critiquing) and proofread the hell out of it.