Health: Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what...

By Anonymous - 21/06/2014 15:15 - United States - Boulder

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 912

You deserved it 5 289

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Romantic gestures

By Anonymous - 11/06/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 154

You deserved it 4 483

Night terrors

By Tanisha Skye Regeling - 11/06/2020 23:02

Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 180

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 308

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 494

You deserved it 3 248

By iltdtsm - 15/08/2009 16:58 - Canada

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 220

You deserved it 3 263

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 419

You deserved it 4 472

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 9 307

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 187

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 7 247

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 135

DrHail 22

Sunday 22 June 2014 0:58

Behind every man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.

aleahlioness 15

Sunday 22 June 2014 0:57

Found yourself a keeper ;)

Comments

Mattribute 13

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:09

Men will be men

ItsMissLia 19

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:10

Nothing good ever follows the sentence "what could go wrong?"

91hayek 31

Sunday 22 June 2014 2:17

I've learned that saying it out loud is jinxing whatever you're doing; like you're daring fate to mess things up for you - "oh, you really think that? Then let me show you exactly how it's not supposed to go!"

Ewelty3 19

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:14

He should have known that WOOD fail.

deathfyre8 13

Sunday 22 June 2014 18:10

That pub was bad and you should feel bad.

weveallbeenthere 30

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:16

he deserved if. dumbass.

SMHsohard 22

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:17

When bad ideas go worse: reminds me of the time my dad bought a home barber kit, went in the bathroom, yelled to my mom "Hey, honey! Look at this!" And proceeded to pretty much give himself half a Mohawk.

nbrowser 24

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:26

Another one of those "Hold my beer and watch this!" Things that went nicely sideways!

PenguinBitch 43

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:26

This is followed by Dan opening a can of beer and saying "I told y'all."

tj4234 35

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:27

yeah, this is why we have so many 'don't try this at home' signs... It takes years of training to break blocks of wood, and, there is also a technique to doing it correctly. (Which is kind of obvious really) It's no surprise he hurt himself...