Miscellaneous: Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting...

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 10:34 - Oman

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 386

You deserved it 37 309

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Same thing different taste

By alliez108 - 18/11/2011 00:50 - United States

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 7 746

By Connor - 25/12/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 061

You deserved it 2 650

By wintersoldier - 14/07/2015 02:36 - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 056

You deserved it 2 378

By BlazefireSaber - 07/07/2015 03:59 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 531

You deserved it 2 995

By Disappointed - 31/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 491

You deserved it 9 821

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 542

You deserved it 3 923

By Anonymous - 21/08/2011 19:48 - United States

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 576

You deserved it 3 411

You went too far

By Dia - 02/05/2021 05:01

Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 2 233

Patsy

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 174

By toothbreaker - 21/08/2019 16:00

Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend when I accidentally kneed him in the chin and chipped his front tooth. I broke his real tooth, as well as the fake part from when he chipped it ten years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 280

perdix 29

Monday 30 August 2010 16:07

You, sir, are a wimp. I'm not sure you are ready for solid food -- ask Momma to pop out her titty for you.

remy3106 10

Monday 30 August 2010 16:03

u must have really wanted that cookie?!

Comments

KudoShinichi 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 7:26

own!! what a rage fight! i still dont see how you lost to a 14 year old haha

lmsweet 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 7:50

ydi for being lame.

shadyecko 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 10:54

Are you trying to seduce me or something?

bzimms 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 8:06

ur deserve it for fighting wit a 14 year old

Joshua21097 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 8:45

then all hope is lost

brittneybg 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 10:40

Ouch ... soooo, is ur 14 year old bro cute ???!?? ;)

galw31 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 11:59

haha i'd of done the same.

rairai 13

Tuesday 31 August 2010 14:41

born as a women much?

ASA5G 2

Tuesday 31 August 2010 22:54

Part of the FML should not be "he still got the cookie." that should say "I just realized i got my injuries over a cookie."

MitcheII 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 0:17

loser

jackygirl2 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 1:11

ydi for being a skinny weak dude.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

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Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 75

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 3 961

The Top

Today, I finished hauling all of my possessions from another state, because I was supposed to move in with my girlfriend. I was just waiting to find a job. Almost as soon as my stuff was delivered, she broke up with me and told me to figure out getting it all back by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 223

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 841

You deserved it 4 639

Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 883

You deserved it 29 096

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 482

You deserved it 4 671

Today, I started to hate being the "mentally stable friend" because my friends will be talking about mental health and I've got to be the 'all smiles and positive' person who gives them hope in life, but the second I falter I can see everyone shift and I'm just not. Allowed. To. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 137

Today, my teeth are very sensitive and hold a grudge, so since getting a cavity fixed a month ago, I’ve had a good side and a bad side to chew on (or rather: not chew on). Unfortunately, I had to see the dentist again for another cavity, and now what used to be my bad side is now my good side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 119

Same thing different taste

You went too far

Patsy

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