Miscellaneous: Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting... - FML

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 10:34 - Oman

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 386

You deserved it 37 309

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Same thing different taste

By alliez108 - 18/11/2011 00:50 - United States

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 7 746

By Connor - 25/12/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 061

You deserved it 2 650

By wintersoldier - 14/07/2015 02:36 - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 056

You deserved it 2 378

By BlazefireSaber - 07/07/2015 03:59 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 531

You deserved it 2 995

By Disappointed - 31/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 491

You deserved it 9 821

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 542

You deserved it 3 923

By Anonymous - 21/08/2011 19:48 - United States

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 576

You deserved it 3 411

You went too far

By Dia - 02/05/2021 05:01

Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 2 233

Patsy

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 174

By toothbreaker - 21/08/2019 16:00

Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend when I accidentally kneed him in the chin and chipped his front tooth. I broke his real tooth, as well as the fake part from when he chipped it ten years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 280

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Monday 30 August 2010 16:07

You, sir, are a wimp. I'm not sure you are ready for solid food -- ask Momma to pop out her titty for you.

remy3106 10

Monday 30 August 2010 16:03

u must have really wanted that cookie?!

Comments

saltycookies 5

Monday 30 August 2010 20:17

buy a gun and next time this won't happen

awesomenick100 0

Monday 30 August 2010 20:27

bahaha. don't worry I lost a battle over a cookie once with my 5 yr old bro, I'm only 13 tho, but I still shouldve won

UpYoursInAdvance 0

Monday 30 August 2010 21:01

Can't believe they actually put this stupid shit up...

ShadowPunkChick 1

Monday 30 August 2010 21:58

You are both too old to be fighting over a cookie. Grow up.

ShadowPunkChick 1

Monday 30 August 2010 22:01

OP is a guy..

xohockeyfreak10x 0

Monday 30 August 2010 22:27

are u that desperate for a cookie? ydi.

sallen0046 4

Monday 30 August 2010 22:35

YDI for getting into a physical altercation with a 14 year old. YDI for doing so over something as stupid as a cookie. You're 26 years old, carry your self to the store and by your own damn cookies.

PeekAJew 0

Monday 30 August 2010 22:45

OP is probably fat.

PeekAJew 0

Monday 30 August 2010 22:45

OP is probably fat.

Markyblitz 4

Monday 30 August 2010 22:47

sharing is caring

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Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 704

You deserved it 2 871

Today, after a horrible day at work, I called my wife on the drive home and asked if she could start the kettle so I could have a cup of tea when I got home. She shrieked, "I'm not your maid!" and hung up on me, then threw hot water in my face when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 100

Today, I have a job but can't be hired due to technical issues. This means that I'm technically not getting paid yet for the work I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 806

You deserved it 841

Today, I mentioned to my girlfriend that I'd sent in a job application after she went home. In front of her parents. Who thought she'd stayed the night at a friend's place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 369

You deserved it 8 877

Today, my parents lectured me about how my girlfriend will ruin my life, because she's a single mom, a recovering alcoholic, and has chronic health issues. Apparently, I should be with their friend's rude, trashy daughter, who can't keep a job, and goes on a drunken, drug-fueled bender every other week. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 180

Today, I asked my girlfriend why my new package of condoms was open. When she failed to change the subject, she responded with, “This is why you’re a depressive crybaby who’ll die alone!” The fight ended with me proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 3 186