Animals: Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool....

By Urinator - 16/09/2015 18:26 - United Kingdom - Inchture

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 1 915

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Same thing different taste

By kittydead - 29/01/2009 01:05 - Canada

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 935

You deserved it 37 310

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 87

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 121

You deserved it 39 003

What happened?

By nayahbear24 - 27/08/2014 22:52 - United States - Trenton

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 3 925

What happened here?

By Lisa - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 011

You deserved it 333

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 706

You deserved it 2 203

By jf29 - 31/01/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 643

You deserved it 46 788

Dusty Springboard

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 861

You deserved it 7 935

This means war

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 148

By jrad - 08/09/2010 19:23 - United States

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 836

You deserved it 3 553

dezman2000 21

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:21

It used to be "My dog ate my homework" not "Your dog peed on the floor" What has our world come to

AyeJay101 25

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:29

I don't even know what to say... I guess new requirement in a partner is if they're potty trained?

Comments

trucker2 33

Thursday 17 September 2015 8:22

I think I would have thrown her through the door, rather than show her the door.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Thursday 17 September 2015 8:28

I bet that rug really tied the room together, too.

bapbap_fml 15

Thursday 17 September 2015 16:29

This comment ftw

tbro47 23

Thursday 17 September 2015 8:32

Damn she's already marking her territory? Moves a bit too fast, this one.

Utetopia2014 18

Thursday 17 September 2015 8:48

Err... I think the fml was about blaming the dead dog, not the wet patch on the floor, from most likely her spilling a drink, and not pissing on the floor that everyone assumes.

neuronerd 28

Thursday 17 September 2015 10:17

I think people are assuming she peed, based on OP's username, "urinator.". Also, because she said the dog did it. I don't understand why anyone would say a spilled drink is dog pee.

SauceySarah 30

Thursday 17 September 2015 8:55

In a way, I feel bad for her. She probably really had to pee, was embarrassed to ask about where the restroom was, and one's bladder can only take so much before it just lets go of all the urine. If that happened to you, you would try to save face too and think of anything to possibly blame it on.

Emirac 10

Thursday 17 September 2015 8:56

I once had a girl pee on the floor of the store I work at because she didn't want to interrupt the other associate showing her something to ask for the bathroom. She was so humiliated and ran out. I can't imagine how peeing on someone's rug is a better alternative to just asking to use their bathroom

CrazyChiC42 10

Thursday 17 September 2015 9:11

If she peed herself there would be obviously wet pants/legs/socks/shoes unless she popped a squat. Popping a squat on the rug screams intentional. Wetting herself screams urinary incontinence.