Animals: Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool....

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By Urinator - 16/09/2015 18:26 - United Kingdom - Inchture

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 757

You deserved it 1 917

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Same thing different taste

By kittydead - 29/01/2009 01:05 - Canada

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 936

You deserved it 37 319

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 90

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 127

You deserved it 39 008

What happened?

By nayahbear24 - 27/08/2014 22:52 - United States - Trenton

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 218

You deserved it 3 927

What happened here?

By Lisa - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 019

You deserved it 336

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 715

You deserved it 2 205

By jf29 - 31/01/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 644

You deserved it 46 805

Dusty Springboard

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 871

You deserved it 7 940

This means war

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 154

By jrad - 08/09/2010 19:23 - United States

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 848

You deserved it 3 554

dezman2000 21

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:21

It used to be "My dog ate my homework" not "Your dog peed on the floor" What has our world come to

AyeJay101 25

Thursday 17 September 2015 7:29

I don't even know what to say... I guess new requirement in a partner is if they're potty trained?

Comments

Destiny8745 29

Thursday 17 September 2015 16:15

I really hope you post a follow up. I need to know what happened next.

IssacB 14

Thursday 17 September 2015 16:21

She happen to be drunk?

mandyn333 10

Thursday 17 September 2015 16:54

I would love to hear how this was handled. It must have been really awkward to tell her that your dog died.

zeffra13 31

Thursday 17 September 2015 16:57

I'm going to be nice and hope she had gotten a glass of water/juice and spilled it unintentionally.

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Thursday 17 September 2015 16:59

Ghost dog is annoyed you've moved on from its death so quickly.

chy_fml 22

Thursday 17 September 2015 18:54

Damn was she trying to mark her territory or something.

Nothingness1 3

Thursday 17 September 2015 20:27

It's odd how everyone assumes she peed on the floor. There are other factors not mentioned in the post, like maybe she spilled a drink or some sort of liquid on the carpet and didn't want to admit she spilled it so she blamed the dog. There could have been a case with waters and flower in it that got knocked over by accident. You never know.

bloodtalonx 5

Thursday 17 September 2015 20:39

Plot twist: there is a leak in the roof.

BigDave469 15

Thursday 17 September 2015 21:05

You are dating Poppi's daughter! Just turn over the couch cushion!

SystemofaBlink41 27

Thursday 17 September 2015 21:06

I... what? Did she just pee out of habit and then saw the picture of your dog to use as an excuse or was it the other way around? We'll never know, I guess.