Miscellaneous: Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten...

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 00:53 - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 693

You deserved it 39 027

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 521

You deserved it 39 611

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 905

You deserved it 46 472

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 872

You deserved it 10 532

By Jmdezy - 05/04/2016 15:45 - United States

Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 787

You deserved it 24 250

By philderichmond - 14/06/2009 02:24 - United States

Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 153

You deserved it 17 574

By 3some? uh, no - 01/02/2013 19:59 - Dominican Republic

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 249

You deserved it 33 145

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 11:15 - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 787

You deserved it 2 045

Feels bad man

By toobad - 02/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 093

You deserved it 6 752

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 317

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 390

You deserved it 4 328

shaytards_fml 9

Thursday 9 January 2014 12:10

a guy sent me a pic once, I couldn't open it, so I gave to my father. it was a penis too...

blackonblight 32

Thursday 9 January 2014 13:05

Because "no" is met with "why not?" "Don't be a bitch" "just give me a chance" "******* **** I bet you gave it out to very one else you just don't want to admit you're a *****" "frigid bitch I was tryina be nice see what that gets me?" And so on and so forth?

Comments

middlenamefrank 8

Thursday 9 January 2014 19:07

Is it really impossible to just say, "No, sorry" instead?

marcranger 28

Thursday 9 January 2014 19:10

Read the rest of the comments. If that's too draining on your overworked brain cell, I'll summarize the answer to your question: Yes, all too frequently.

Robert1989 9

Thursday 9 January 2014 19:37

wow someone is nuts to do that.

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 9 January 2014 19:43

In a way i had the same happen...my number and my mothers were close to the same...luckily it was not a pic just a hello...

Cedrina 11

Thursday 9 January 2014 19:45

did you all forget she's drunk?

jdwmoore 5

Thursday 9 January 2014 20:42

Your terrible person ydi

fivetimeslonger 24

Thursday 9 January 2014 20:43

Next time if you realize you gave them someone else's number while they're still there, play dumb and say "oh shit. that's my old phone number. So glad I caught my mistake. The new one it's ..." Or just not give any numbers to guys you aren't interested in. That works to. ;)

SuperMew 22

Thursday 9 January 2014 22:14

You really don't seem to grasp what is going on in this FML at all.

limabeans101029 20

Thursday 9 January 2014 22:46

Some people don't take no for an answer.

earthrise56 1

Thursday 9 January 2014 23:24

you're such a bitch. I call people like you life wasters. instead of just saying no you got to jimmy jack guys around. really you might as well be masturbating in public. you deserve it. turn your life around. It's like you are just fingering yourself while we ask important questions why for the love why why why why ??????