Miscellaneous: Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward...

By obsessed - 27/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 244

You deserved it 89 672

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Same thing different taste

Take it down!

By steven - 28/06/2009 15:53 - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 342

You deserved it 7 302

Give it to me

By Kait - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 473

You deserved it 3 584

Funny guy

By stillembarrassed - 06/08/2013 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 432

You deserved it 6 688

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 788

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 169

You deserved it 6 976

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 719

You deserved it 8 605

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 032

You deserved it 5 098

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 335

By clementine_k - 22/03/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 870

You deserved it 35 651

By sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 3 747

staymonkey 1

Friday 27 November 2009 12:46

thats pretty pathetic.

rexmaxus 0

Friday 27 November 2009 12:47

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.

Comments

Tigg3r 3

Friday 27 November 2009 20:00

so what are you going to do next? kiss a hot iron to know what kissing Jacob Black is like? have fun in the emergency room.

marrajane 0

Friday 27 November 2009 21:37

Lols. Golden. Although, be careful what you type, some Team Jacob twi-hard might read that and get ideas.

BlackButlerFan 20

Tuesday 26 March 2013 2:39

LOL. Doctor: Next! Oh, what happened to you young lady? Girl: I kissed my stove to find out what it would be like to kiss Jacob Black...

wolfgirl19 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:06

YDI for being team Edward.

UselessName 0

Friday 27 November 2009 21:01

I hoped some freaky twilight fans would learn from this dumbass,but no *team edward* all over the comment page,******* reatards! GET A LIFE!

heartlessagony 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:17

YDI for trying to know what it's like to kiss a fictional character.

shananigans 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:19

Ha, your neighbor is pretty badass. Oh and YDI.

Sierra365 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:20

WOw..... i am a huge Twilight fan too but that wasnt the smartest thing to do lol

DecayDance_fml 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:21

1 - YDI for kissing a window. germs, much? 2 - YDI for not being Team Jacob.

DecayDance_fml 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:24

1 - YDI for kissing a window with thousands of germs in the first place. 2 - YDI for being a Twerd. 3 - YDI for not being team Jacob.

DecayDance_fml 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:27

oshit. double posted O_O

ScarHead 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:40

DUDE! This FML will only ever be acceptable if you are under 15 and mentally derranged.

Punkartmama 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:48

Anyone who would do something like this is a pretty sad and pathetic person. It's even more lame having to do with Twilight.

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, the host family that I'm staying with in China gave me a small milk box to drink. It tasted a bit tangy and sour, but I thought that was probably just the taste of milk in China. Trying to be polite, I practically chugged the whole box. Later, I found out that it had expired 20 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 372

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 513

You deserved it 5 324

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 31 076

You deserved it 3 016

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I agree, your life sucks 47 138

You deserved it 4 121

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I agree, your life sucks 32 861

You deserved it 16 672

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I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 292

Today, I was lost on a dirt road when it started raining and I got stuck in the mud, so I walked 5 miles to a farm. They brought their tractor and pulled me out, but then my key broke off in the ignition. It's my birthday and I can't get home for the party my wife planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 316

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 735

You deserved it 2 539

Same thing different taste

Take it down!

Give it to me

Funny guy

Tricked

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