Miscellaneous: Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward...

By obsessed - 27/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 244

You deserved it 89 672

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Same thing different taste

Take it down!

By steven - 28/06/2009 15:53 - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 342

You deserved it 7 302

Give it to me

By Kait - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 473

You deserved it 3 584

Funny guy

By stillembarrassed - 06/08/2013 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 432

You deserved it 6 688

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 788

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 169

You deserved it 6 976

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 719

You deserved it 8 605

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 032

You deserved it 5 098

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 335

By clementine_k - 22/03/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 870

You deserved it 35 651

By sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 3 747

staymonkey 1

Friday 27 November 2009 12:46

thats pretty pathetic.

rexmaxus 0

Friday 27 November 2009 12:47

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.

Comments

perstephane 4

Friday 27 November 2009 20:51

I can understand having a "crush" on a fictional character - they're written so that you will. The problem with a lot of die-hard Twilight fans is that they don't seem to get that Edward IS fictional. So, a PSA to OP and all other fans - Robert is not Edward, and Taylor is not Jacob. Please learn the difference, and please stop kissing your windows. P.S. I would also recommend NOT trying to have sex with an icicle. That is all.

zuli_fml 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:53

Congrats! You're a ******* moron.

UselessName 0

Friday 27 November 2009 20:59

YDI for licking a window,retarded twilight lover

Quinnjamin 0

Friday 27 November 2009 21:04

When will people realize that Twilight is a horrible movie and should be thrown off the face of Earth? Along with all of the actors in it.

teddymac20 0

Friday 27 November 2009 21:22

Fail, chick needs to get a life

gra_k 0

Friday 27 November 2009 21:29

how is that an FML??? thats funny :] i woulda done it

smishsm0shh 0

Friday 27 November 2009 21:29

Haha, nice. I would've liked this more without the edward cullen thing though.

scateice 0

Friday 27 November 2009 21:45

FYL Who cares if you kissed a window for a couple seconds? (Watch as this gets Moderated)

pwnage79 0

Friday 27 November 2009 23:58

no. not JUST kissed a window. kissed a window to see what it is like to kiss a FICTIONAL character from a MOVIE that mental morons started a RELIGION called CULLENISM over. now do you see the ydi?

Tigg3r 3

Saturday 28 November 2009 8:19

They started a frikken religion? Well, fuckshit. (fuckshit is something I do. I say **** and then immediatly after, I say shit. Shut up grammar trolls and go burn in hell.)

TheRetardTracker 0

Friday 27 November 2009 21:48

Wow.......thats strange

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Friday 27 November 2009 21:53

Edward Cullen is an abusive, manipulative stalker asshole, and Bella is an idiot for not running the other way and getting a restraining order. Then again she has no survival instinct, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Some role model for young girls! I can't believe idiots like the OP take shit like Twilight seriously.