Animals: Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Evanston

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 503

You deserved it 13 259

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 10:02 - United States

Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man said, "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 214

You deserved it 11 270

By KilteDKilleR - 15/10/2011 14:02 - United States

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 3 140

Adding insult to injury

By Fly my pretty, FLY! - 25/09/2023 02:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 157

Bad boy

By nipped - 16/09/2009 13:24 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 992

You deserved it 88 479

By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 05:05 - United States

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 049

You deserved it 8 101

By spaz - 14/03/2011 01:49 - United States

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 918

You deserved it 13 721

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 785

You deserved it 11 025

Bad boy!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite, this dog is no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 271

You deserved it 17 919

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 448

You deserved it 9 336

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 372

You deserved it 35 769

xnikkilynn 11

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:51

Urgh, those things are the spawn of Satan.

Mirakledba 10

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:50

Not your fault... Kinda ironic though. FYL

Comments

GeneralDerp 5

Sunday 19 October 2014 18:07

Humiliation.

aceofclubsemo 5

Sunday 19 October 2014 18:17

are you ok?

NellieeNell 18

Sunday 19 October 2014 18:57

Chihuahuas are feisty. Don't let their size fool you.

SeriousJoker72 18

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:05

Dontcha know it's the little ones you gotta be afraid of?? Just remember gentle giant, tiny terror :p jk rly tho someone's gotta train that dog

martin8337 35

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:10

Makes me think about two shows: When Animals Attack and Damn, Nature, You Scary.

itwontvalidate 18

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:11

barking dogs bite

allplayedout 20

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:13

I never understood why people don't bother training their rats just because they're small.

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:24

Don't let their small size to you, chihuahuas are evil.

annarcheer 19

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:25

I love dogs.

tenderchicken 7

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:47

Skin the foul beast and fist your grandmas greasy asshole

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 19 October 2014 19:59

WTF dude.. That's a little extreme don't you think?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Dad jokes Love Parents Friends Birthday Family Surprise Shopping Kids Zoom Work Cute Intimacy Sex Paranoia Relationship advice I need your advice Crush Teenagers Money Pranks Awkward Argument Geek Computers Transportation Cars Lonely Miscellaneous Food

The Top

Today, my coworker and I debated whether 100 average dudes could take down one gorilla. He said, "Only if 30 of us are willing to die." I disagreed, so we started working it out, using a whiteboard to do the math… which we forgot to wipe before the next meeting. HR now has us on a watchlist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 427

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 341

You deserved it 9 212

The Top

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 635

You deserved it 3 274

Today, at 6 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER in the middle of the night for severe abdominal pain, fearing an ectopic pregnancy. Turns out it was just a wayward turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 893

You deserved it 489

Today, after I found out my uncle took me off my grandma's funeral program, I had to fight to speak. He spent the week taking out his jealousy and anger on me and my sister for being included in her funeral. To everyone else he's played the saint, and the whole family has no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 108

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 734

You deserved it 5 330

Today, because of my anxiety, which causes me to procrastinate, I left an assignment until the last minute. I got 18/40 and it was a 'must pass' to complete the unit. I don't know whether to just say fuck it and drop out now, or continue and do the final exam for this subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 975

Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 181

You deserved it 6 177