Health: Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day... - FML

By captainkevineff - 11/03/2010 14:44 - United States

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 956

You deserved it 3 647

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Same thing different taste

Irony at a base level

By SterlingEnigma - 25/09/2009 08:43 - United States

Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 345

You deserved it 7 383

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 007

You deserved it 3 594

By Medfail - 20/06/2016 07:13 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 661

You deserved it 13 713

By anna14 - 21/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 148

You deserved it 49 436

By WTFFAIL - 03/12/2012 05:06 - Canada - Montreal

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 576

You deserved it 9 006

Waxing and waning

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 07:15 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 083

You deserved it 5 351

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 081

You deserved it 7 183

One a day, so they say

By jazzie7719 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Arlington

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 349

You deserved it 4 419

By rivercitybarf - 08/08/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 707

You deserved it 6 900

By Ear Invasion - 26/01/2013 05:53 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 374

You deserved it 3 456

Next

Top comments

birds_fml 7

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:07

It will if you put the apple up your ass. Then there'll be no room for a qtip.

blaaaaakely 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 20:08

just pretend it's Angelina Jolie.

Comments

DavMC 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 23:19

an apple a day does keep the doctor away but only if u throw them hard enough 2 knock the bastard out :)

feverinurbeaver 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 23:28

today, a patient made me stick a q-tip in his ass FML

Drumr3oy 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 23:42

bet u liked it!

Theblue_fml 0

Friday 12 March 2010 0:08

are you sure it was a Q-tip?

Dwight_A_R_Manag 0

Friday 12 March 2010 0:29

snickers try sticking a Qtip up your ass and swirl it around

SMackdaCat 0

Friday 12 March 2010 0:51

What?! what?! Surprise Buttsecks!!! ...better a Q-tip then that apple ...Or did u just think it was a Q-tip? rofl

Monikabug 9

Friday 12 March 2010 0:58

Okay, woah! All that Snickerdoodles was saying is that having a Q-Tip in your butt is not the worst thing in the world to happen to a man. The OP's life is certainly not ****** just because this happened, so yes, BOO HOO for him. I think most people are missing the point on this one. The OP never said that his doctor put a Q-Tip in his butt for no reason. He probably needed something examed and was trying to make a joke out of his experience by saying an apple a day wouldn't stop it.

Danftw 0

Friday 12 March 2010 0:58

ive had one in the pisshole before, its nothin.... ****** man up people!

hondabikez 2

Friday 12 March 2010 1:46

better than fingers!

trumpetGIRL12345 0

Friday 12 March 2010 4:04

that must have been the worst dentist appointment ever huh.

morgan020 0

Friday 12 March 2010 6:47

haha

trumpetGIRL12345 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 4:24

yay someone with a good sense of humor

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You deserved it 95

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I agree, your life sucks 6 842

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I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 37

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I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 8 379