Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel...

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 18:16 - France

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 803

You deserved it 15 733

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Same thing different taste

By xxxchelsiexxx - 06/02/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 373

You deserved it 7 839

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 15/05/2022 07:00 - Brazil - Fraiburgo

Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 28/08/2010 23:40 - United States

Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 623

You deserved it 3 093

By Eternal_Babyface - 08/11/2015 17:14 - United States

Today, I was talking to a friend and bemoaning the fact that my new coworkers keep mixing up my gender. She looked at me critically and said, "Yeah, until you can grow a decent beard, people are going to keep thinking you're an intern or a butch lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 770

You deserved it 2 321

By theyarefarapart - 09/05/2011 07:05

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 774

You deserved it 3 569

By Sammylad - 07/09/2011 22:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 912

You deserved it 15 365

By jessel_ladd92 - 09/09/2013 06:42 - United States

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 631

You deserved it 5 834

By anonymous - 28/11/2013 11:41 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 526

You deserved it 3 571

By rarara - 30/10/2012 21:26 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 199

You deserved it 3 071

Fuzzy logic

By It’s just peach fuzz on my cheeks, but still - 07/09/2024 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 82

cabbitt 0

Monday 8 November 2010 22:41

Don't whine about it. Fix it.

rpvia 0

Monday 8 November 2010 22:39

your name must be helga

Comments

goldhighways 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 6:16

how did you just figure that out? I would assume you look in the mirror everyday like most of us girls do....how could you my notice that..

goldhighways 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 6:18

not notice*

xcookier 2

Tuesday 9 November 2010 6:26

parallel lines ? how lamee.

vbmg152 18

Tuesday 9 November 2010 6:40

Three words.... Wax, Tweezers, Razor!!! Problems solved!!

cuddlekitty66 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 6:52

So wax or something. God. Not that hard.

DemCoolBeans 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 7:19

Mustaches are... distinguished.

Thanateros 1

Tuesday 9 November 2010 7:28

That's ******* disgusting what the **** is wrong with you?

suzuki2005 2

Tuesday 9 November 2010 7:37

Sasquatch

G_thelegend 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 7:48

shave or wax honey

mpphish 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 7:54

so Uh wax?! easy as that

restythestar 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 9:13

erghh Unibrow. remind me of Bosingwa *any football fans must get this*

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 851

You deserved it 1 041

The Top

Today, my parents met my boyfriend for the first time. They spent the entire meal trying to convince him to dump me, all while I was sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 597

You deserved it 393

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 743

You deserved it 12 945

...and just like that, the weekend was over.

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 77

Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 204

You deserved it 170

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 299

You deserved it 6 509

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 893

You deserved it 2 790

Same thing different taste

Mistaken identity

Fuzzy logic

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