Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely... - FML

By acab93 - 10/02/2011 22:37 - United States

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 162

You deserved it 64 640

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Same thing different taste

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 549

You deserved it 5 872

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 19:41 - United States

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 268

You deserved it 4 360

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 956

You deserved it 11 237

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 355

You deserved it 34 743

Ham-fisted attempt

By HamHanded - 10/03/2017 09:17

Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 668

You deserved it 719

By whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 290

You deserved it 26 957

Soon.

By erinbarto - 17/10/2019 20:00

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 135

By Username - 16/04/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 154

You deserved it 84 633

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 178

By katrina2d - 27/01/2015 05:43 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 209

You deserved it 29 681

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Friday 11 February 2011 1:09

So you thought a ham was an animal? What did you think it looked like? What sound did you think it made?

ScaryyMary 14

Friday 11 February 2011 1:18

Actually, ham is a fruit. Haven't you ever driven past a ham farm and seen the inbred Republicans plucking the ripe, juicy, pink hams from the tallest trees? I can take you to one, it's such an inspiring sight. Afterward, we can go snipe hunting, I know a GREAT spot.

Comments

CourtneyDanielle_fml 9

Friday 11 February 2011 2:15

Ydi for being a dumb ass..

someguy314159265 15

Friday 11 February 2011 2:25

At least you admitted your stupidity. I actually commend you for that.

robc32ca 4

Friday 11 February 2011 2:27

win

ScrabbleBabe2010 0

Friday 11 February 2011 2:28

I knew a girl who was 16

ScrabbleBabe2010 0

Friday 11 February 2011 2:29

Why does FML randomly cut clean comments short, making the poster look like a 'tard?

killatrev 4

Friday 11 February 2011 2:34

Wow you must be a blond chick.

Raiith 0

Friday 11 February 2011 2:38

あなたは痛ましいほど愚かです（−＿−；）

Slhruman 4

Friday 11 February 2011 3:37

The hell

BT14 5

Friday 11 February 2011 2:42

what did he win I don't get it

EvilSpirt 5

Friday 11 February 2011 2:49

OP, I learned that when I was one. Ham, a dead pig is smarter than you OP.

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Friday 11 February 2011 2:49

Just wait until you find out what hot dogs are made of...

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The Top

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 941

You deserved it 63 789

Today, I wore press on nails and I work in a very professional setting where my hands are 24/7 visible to our clients. I've had multiple nails go flying off at various inappropriate times and my nail glue has been my BFF for 2 weeks. I had to go buy another nail glue bottle to make it through my second week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 538

The Top

Today, I was messing with an AI art generator. As luck would have it, it generated a nasty NSFW image just as my mom happened to walk by, despite my prompt being 100% innocent. It was also just after I got a nice, wholesome result, so I was smiling at the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 461

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend. He said yes, but is now sulking because I took away his "manhood". Jeez, sorry I didn't want to wait another 7 years for you to finally do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 996

You deserved it 2 032

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 957

You deserved it 13 987

Today, I couldn't get into my car. In an attempt to get in, I broke a window. As I climbed in, the actual owner of the car walked up. Mine was across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 436

You deserved it 46 323

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 519

You deserved it 3 207

Today, after not having coffee for ages, I finally remembered why I stopped drinking it. I literally just shit my pants, and I’m about to start a ten-hour day with 27 fifth graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 283