Intimacy: Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims...

By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 03:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 788

You deserved it 71 846

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To boldly go where no man has gone before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 207

You deserved it 6 038

Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 953

You deserved it 339 263

By Eganstein - 24/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 935

You deserved it 2 726

Beam me up!

By saynotochrispine - 28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 312

You deserved it 7 959

References

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 06:00

Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 994

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 05:14 - Canada - Clairmont

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 910

You deserved it 10 267

The Force

By RobinBunny713 - 19/07/2011 03:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 802

You deserved it 34 375

Let me Slytherin

By Wisconsin love - 13/12/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 997

You deserved it 10 971

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 14:51 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 494

You deserved it 20 913

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 111

You deserved it 7 252

starw0lf 31

Wednesday 20 November 2013 11:56

Maybe she is a Romulan?

BlackPowderMedic 5

Wednesday 20 November 2013 11:58

It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.

Comments

quelsauvage 12

Tuesday 26 November 2013 21:56

You are shtupping the wrong girls, my friend.

squishycat 6

Wednesday 18 December 2013 19:31

Klingon? I would love that, even during sex! Guess I really am a nerd...

iloveballons 5

Monday 23 December 2013 4:42

I'm not gonna lie, I would live it if a guy did that XD

TheMystery13 13

Thursday 26 December 2013 18:21

I thought nerds were supposed to be SMART?

Klwulffy 14

Thursday 16 April 2015 6:26

Your a dope dude. Klingon is a turn on.

HybridJayJay 5

Thursday 16 January 2014 3:49

That's really cool. She should appreciate who you are!

RaspberryTart 2

Friday 24 January 2014 8:51

I am 100% for that ;)

That1otherScot 3

Thursday 6 March 2014 12:21

Mood killer, mate. Some people don't like talking at all let alone Klingon.

__U__S__E__R__ 7

Saturday 15 March 2014 3:06

You know Klingon? If I were her, I would love you all the more. That's awesome! And maybe she just doesn't like it because she's a Romulan?

alexangel33 18

Friday 4 April 2014 19:34

Hot

AbbyL 7

Tuesday 22 April 2014 9:18

Seriously dude?!?! She might not even LIKE Star Treck! She might not be a "Treckie!"

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The Top

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 154

You deserved it 6 146

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 2 695

The Top

Today, it's Halloween and my boss changed his mind at the last minute, telling us we're no longer allowed to carve pumpkins in our lunch hour because, "It would be too distracting". What are we supposed to do with 12 pumpkins now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 115

You deserved it 978

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 139

You deserved it 2 647

Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 000

You deserved it 2 374

Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 430

You deserved it 1 736

Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 732

You deserved it 45 130

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walked under the newly-fixed pipes, I got soaked with what appeared to be water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement, so they made me work covered in piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 398

You deserved it 2 370