Intimacy: Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 03:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Spicy

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 790

You deserved it 71 850

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Same thing different taste

To boldly go where no man has gone before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Spicy

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 214

You deserved it 6 039

Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 955

You deserved it 339 270

By Eganstein - 24/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 936

You deserved it 2 726

Beam me up!

By saynotochrispine - 28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 313

You deserved it 7 959

References

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 06:00

Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 994

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 05:14 - Canada - Clairmont

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 913

You deserved it 10 267

The Force

By RobinBunny713 - 19/07/2011 03:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 802

You deserved it 34 377

Let me Slytherin

By Wisconsin love - 13/12/2010 17:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 10 971

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 14:51 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 496

You deserved it 20 915

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 113

You deserved it 7 252

Next

Top comments

starw0lf 31

Wednesday 20 November 2013 11:56

Maybe she is a Romulan?

BlackPowderMedic 5

Wednesday 20 November 2013 11:58

It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.

Comments

emmanuelwade 9

Sunday 25 May 2014 3:44

Hahahahhahahahahhahahaha

IDK_anymore 3

Friday 13 June 2014 12:17

What kind of girl would NOT want to speak Klingon during sex? I once started speaking Klingon in French Class by accident, and I'm a 16 year old girl.

Makifun 19

Thursday 26 June 2014 9:49

*sigh*(_ _)

dancer571998 1

Tuesday 8 July 2014 5:26

I would be OK with it!!!!! totally OK!!!!!!

UmmOkThen 31

Wednesday 5 November 2014 6:21

She's just a "P'tack"

ughnotthatgirl 9

Thursday 4 December 2014 5:03

That might be a little much, OP... Even as a nerd myself I would probably not appreciate it, kills the mood. Try again later, maybe.

azarel88 11

Tuesday 3 February 2015 5:06

your one chance and you blew it.

greeneyedx 23

Thursday 9 April 2015 5:28

OP, that'd be awesome.

Klwulffy 14

Thursday 16 April 2015 6:25

Oh Jesus I would have sex with you in an instant. I wish my boyfriend knew Klingon ❤️❤️

phazetryhard 10

Wednesday 27 May 2015 20:44

Romulan Scum

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The Top

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 78

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 832

The Top

Today, my mom called me in a panic because someone had hacked my phone and was sending her evil faces. They were emojis I'd accidentally butt-dialed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 780

You deserved it 1 188

Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 967

You deserved it 12 229

Today, after going to the doctor, thinking I was going to be diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, it turns out my thyroid is "perfectly normal." Apparently the strange feeling in my neck that oddly mimicked the disease is "an autism thing", even though I've never noticed it happen until now. I am so confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 105

Today, my boss told me I can't use the computer for entertainment. This coming from the same person who spends hours at a time every day on Facebook and other similar websites. I'm also not allowed to sit down while using the computer, which I use about half of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 241

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 662

Today, after years of crushing on numerous straight guys, I now like a really close friend who is also gay. Too bad, he has already elaborated how perfect I am, but definitely not someone he could like or date. Seems I would have to move on yet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 269