Intimacy: Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims...

By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 03:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 788

You deserved it 71 846

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Same thing different taste

To boldly go where no man has gone before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 207

You deserved it 6 038

Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 953

You deserved it 339 263

By Eganstein - 24/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 935

You deserved it 2 726

Beam me up!

By saynotochrispine - 28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 312

You deserved it 7 959

References

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 06:00

Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 994

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 05:14 - Canada - Clairmont

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 910

You deserved it 10 267

The Force

By RobinBunny713 - 19/07/2011 03:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 802

You deserved it 34 375

Let me Slytherin

By Wisconsin love - 13/12/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 997

You deserved it 10 971

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 14:51 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 494

You deserved it 20 913

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 111

You deserved it 7 252

starw0lf 31

Wednesday 20 November 2013 11:56

Maybe she is a Romulan?

BlackPowderMedic 5

Wednesday 20 November 2013 11:58

It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.

Comments

maryanne_89 4

Saturday 23 November 2013 17:45

that sounds kinda hot...

alimaiara 0

Sunday 24 November 2013 0:59

Mmmm sounds pretty sexy to me (bites lip and fantasies) I guess your with the wrong nerd

cubanfriday 5

Sunday 24 November 2013 3:50

Sydneyhehe 6

Sunday 24 November 2013 16:34

I'd be okay with that....

Sydneyhehe 6

Sunday 24 November 2013 16:42

I'd be okay with it... Just a few bits here and there. I don't want him screaming "hlja'" when he finished

trustno1_fml 10

Sunday 24 November 2013 19:32

Then again, why would you? (why learn Klingong instead of an existing language which can help you? French, German, Spanish, Russian, Chinese...)

KickMeImAnna 3

Sunday 24 November 2013 22:33

teH nerd be'Hom let Samta'meH, 'ach nIv'e' maH.

speakersboom 19

Monday 25 November 2013 5:34

HA!

halofire360 3

Monday 25 November 2013 7:06

This has facepalm written all over it.

SunshineZMBI 2

Monday 25 November 2013 23:22

Im female and all I have to say is if you started speaking Klingon while choking me during hate sex I would marry you.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 377

You deserved it 14 230

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 154

You deserved it 6 146

The Top

Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 164

You deserved it 1 151

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 639

You deserved it 17 793

Today, I was so broke, I couldn't come up with enough change to pay the parking meter at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 243

You deserved it 1 058

Today, as a 17-year-old, after having gone to the doctor to about some unusual hair loss, it turns out I simply have crappy genetics, and should expect to be fully bald within a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 042

You deserved it 409

Today, I was caught up in an armed robbery and after talking to the cops, my boss cut my pay for being 2 hours late. After I trudged home and told my parents, they are now forcing me to sleep in a tent in the garden, just in case the robber gave me COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 153

Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left-handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 885

You deserved it 858