To boldly go where no man has gone before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Spicy
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 211
You deserved it 6 039
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Top comments

isabelf 17

your boyfriend sounds like he has some very odd fetishes...

277 7

Comments

elly94 23

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
10 39
incoherentrmblr 21

Just start start talking like Jabba the Hutt, I think he'll understand then...

23 5
rachangie 19

Why not do bondage Leia style? What's wrong with that?

19 0
TheSwegMaster69 11

Because it will end in death, have you not seen Star Wars?

2 3
Vagitarian1 10

y I DoghQo'!!!! Translation - Don't be silly.

2 0
Vagitarian1 10

y IDogh Qo!!! Translation - Don't be silly.

0 2
shanebob 15

If you read the FML, it clearly says that she didn't...

0 0
isabelf 17

your boyfriend sounds like he has some very odd fetishes...

277 7
almightyteapot 8

Aren't all fetishes a bit on the stranger side? They all kind of vary between 'ehh, that's a bit weird, but oh well, what ever floats your little boat' and 'holy macaroni, there is definitely something wrong with you, let me just call an exorcist real quick'

83 5
isabelf 17

not all fetishes, such as fishnets or blonde hair fetishes, etc.

22 3
kingdomgirl94 29

Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken. Know the limits, play within it.

40 1
onlychildFTW 33

Well Klingons are known for their rough sex. He must like being rough.

12 0
LizReszke 11

I say this on the moderation list and said yes, and now it got posted. Sweet.

8 51
Enslaved 36

Hey, I also get happy when I moderate FMLs and they get posted. I feel that I'm helping by doing a small part to keep this site great.(: Good for you #3 Way too many people like keeping others down when they say positive things.

8 9
BBeffedmylife 28

41 and 43, I always love to see your comments! Love your positivity!

1 2
metalcrazed 21

Not really,the ones I vote yes on are hardly every posted even though they sound realistic and are relatable. I think that person is right to be happy.

0 0
liffagain 16

Or... he could teach you some naughty Klingon :P

119 2
woainishamu 21

Learn from the guy in the movie Daddy Daycare.

45 1
kinky44 28

Step 1: Learn Klingon Step 2: Talk to boyfriend Step 3: ?????? Step 4: Profit

111 8
marcranger 28

"Profit" would be more of a Ferengi thing.

21 2
clemsi 20

instructions unclear, leg stuck in garbage disposal

63 5
metalcrazed 21

Not really if he gets so upset over minor things it may be best for her to move on.

13 2
Earths_Venus 25

Didn't know you could get something that small stuck in a ceiling fan...

23 1
gunda95 11

YDI, mIw vIlIj, 'ej wej tlhIngan vISov Translated: YDI, for not knowing Klingon

27 80
domolovesyoshi 33

yeah because everyone knows klingon, that's something they should have talked about before they got intimate

32 5
gunda95 11

LOOL, I'm not into Star Trek.. Bing translator also translates to Klingon.

7 3
_purepxrcelain_ 6

MAYBE some people just want a normal relationship, not some bullshit language.

6 2
alex_622 22

Guess you'll be learning Klingon instead of Spanish now

34 4
Michael2687 9

You need a new man.

32 6