Transportation: Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/11/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 829

You deserved it 4 205

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Same thing different taste

Run away time!

By CreepedOut - 09/03/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 073

You deserved it 2 815

By Anonymous - 18/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 2 457

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

Whoops

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 02:55 - United States

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 166

You deserved it 6 359

Typical Ohia public bathroom

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 60

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 988

By Anonymous - 18/06/2019 06:44

Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 973

You deserved it 1 441

By jumanji - 23/03/2015 23:19

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 408

You deserved it 2 648

Scaredy cat

By poop - 24/03/2016 18:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 062

You deserved it 2 558

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 284

You deserved it 30 208

Next

Top comments

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Thursday 5 November 2009 23:29

Uh..well.. um....wow... I'm at a loss... FYL Some hobos are so territorial about their bathrooms.

perdix 29

Friday 6 November 2009 0:06

Give the man a dollar to wipe with. And I mean a dollar bill. Giving him three quarters, four nickels and five pennies would be cruel.

Comments

rinrinn22 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 23:42

ahh shit, the comments on this are more funny than your FML

perdix 29

Thursday 5 November 2009 23:52

Leave the guy alone. He was just at the start of a first date.

w26l32 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 23:53

I'm sorry but I had to laugh. Just, the mental image.

scateice 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 23:56

******* Hobos. I saw one pissing in the grass in front of everyone..... Get your own damn bathroom stupid hobos.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 5 November 2009 23:57

At least he wasn't ******** on your car

perdix 29

Friday 6 November 2009 0:06

Give the man a dollar to wipe with. And I mean a dollar bill. Giving him three quarters, four nickels and five pennies would be cruel.

sirknz 0

Friday 6 November 2009 0:14

Well of course if you're walking and pooping at the same time it might annoy some people.

Mauskau 35

Friday 6 November 2009 0:18

For some reason, I imagined the "GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM!" line being yelled by Arnold Schwarzenegger. And for that sole reason, this is favourited because it made it so much funnier.

Mauskau 35

Friday 6 November 2009 0:25

and yes, that is the one and only in my pic. ;)

nokillnobeepbeep 0

Friday 6 November 2009 7:16

Oh god, oh god, oh god!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!! Why o why did I have to be so curious!?!?

brianjman14 22

Friday 6 November 2009 0:19

u shulda been like yo this my car beotch and then shove him outta way and get in ur car and drive

Bloodknight 22

Friday 6 November 2009 0:20

LMFAO @ Perdix, bwahaha! The comments are the only reason I come to this site anymore. ;)

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The Top

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did I remembered there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper; he never did, and came out without socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 524

You deserved it 5 799

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 057

The Top

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 170

You deserved it 3 328

Today, my 8-week-old foster puppy pooped on my backpack as I was getting ready to go to work. In the 10 seconds it took to grab cleaning supplies, another foster dog ate my homemade breakfast sandwich off the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 331

You deserved it 811

Today, my parents are forcing me to take my brother with me when I hang out with my friends. This wouldn't be that weird if my brother wasn't 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 387

You deserved it 917

Today, I woke up happy because I'd met the man of my dreams at a bar. We had shared an amazing night together. I walked around my apartment, wondering where he'd went. Turns out, he was gone. So was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 355

You deserved it 27 715

Today, it was my stag do. One minute I was at the pub buying a drink, the rest was a blur until I woke up completely naked in an ambulance, with all my friends standing over me. They'd put sleeping pills in my drink and hired an ambulance. It was my stag do prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 187

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 836

You deserved it 2 167