Intimacy: Today, I woke up happy because I'd met the man of my dreams at...

By clueless2 - 20/02/2009 15:38 - United States

Today, I woke up happy because I'd met the man of my dreams at a bar. We had shared an amazing night together. I walked around my apartment, wondering where he'd went. Turns out, he was gone. So was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 355

You deserved it 27 715

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Same thing different taste

By whereismyprince? - 18/12/2013 17:01 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 615

You deserved it 7 451

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 12:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 999

You deserved it 8 983

By deewe - 13/05/2012 06:06 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 316

You deserved it 4 381

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 577

You deserved it 69 629

By wherefelix - 03/07/2009 08:01 - United States

Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 129

You deserved it 9 518

By Jebus - 23/01/2009 13:31 - Canada

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 800

You deserved it 2 428

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 00:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 548

You deserved it 4 925

Carless whisper

By JaneSimple - 05/02/2021 17:01

Today, my car broke down. Yesterday, my husband mentioned he found my dream car for sale, but I'd insisted my car had a lot of miles left and we should save money. They sold my dream car this morning. Now I'm carless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 355

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 878

You deserved it 11 718

By Steven - 14/07/2023 16:00

Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 899

thisismyname_fml 1

Friday 20 February 2009 21:54

Bringing a stranger into your apartment after one night of seeing him in bar? Instead of "FML my car was stolen" it should be "Thank God I wasn't raped, beaten, and left for dead."

Edmund_Dantes 0

Friday 20 February 2009 21:21

Any story that starts out "I met the man of my dreams at a bar" is something you deserved.

Comments

Melanie_fml 0

Friday 20 February 2009 20:19

Make a doctor's appt. he might have left you something to remember him by. :(

ThatNutellaTho 6

Sunday 2 March 2014 22:14

Breakfast In bed Maybe .. ..

sillypun 0

Friday 20 February 2009 20:34

that shit is Hiiiiiiii-larious. When I am single again I'm totally gonna pull the GTA. I'm going to take your macbook too.

munchly 17

Saturday 3 April 2010 20:56

when you're single again? don't have much faith in your relationship eh?

Crazyjoe33 6

Monday 21 March 2011 23:29

nice one

subiedude08 17

Friday 13 September 2013 15:01

#6 are you retarded?

Iwetmyself 0

Friday 20 February 2009 20:48

LOL You are crazy.

Unsuprised 0

Friday 20 February 2009 20:57

It's my car now, biznatch.

Edmund_Dantes 0

Friday 20 February 2009 21:21

Any story that starts out "I met the man of my dreams at a bar" is something you deserved.

genius_man16 0

Friday 26 June 2009 22:18

agreed. OP: you are a complete idiot

anonymous100000 17

Monday 3 November 2014 21:24

definitely a YDI.

thisismyname_fml 1

Friday 20 February 2009 21:54

Bringing a stranger into your apartment after one night of seeing him in bar? Instead of "FML my car was stolen" it should be "Thank God I wasn't raped, beaten, and left for dead."

sillypun 0

Friday 20 February 2009 22:20

#11 -- doesnt sound like it would have been rape. everything else applies though.

Amanyyyyyy 29

Thursday 30 January 2014 7:02

You never know what goes through peoples' heads... Especially random ones you meet at a bar, who are presumably drunk.

Seegtease 0

Friday 20 February 2009 22:44

He's a fool. You know exactly what he looks like, and he stole your car. He will almost for sure get caught. I'm sure you know his name, or at least a fake name. It can go a long ways. You also have about a billion fingerprints around your house. Again, he's a fool.

jonathanbirriel 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 1:35

I agree with #6. This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I am going to have to remember this the next time I'm feeling burned by women. I know it sucks, but at least you brightened up my day.