Miscellaneous: Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super...

By Anonymous - 21/02/2013 13:43 - United States - Boise

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 958

You deserved it 11 991

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Same thing different taste

Team none of them

By twihard - 10/09/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, I lost a bet with friends and now have to sit and watch all the Twilight movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 923

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 292

You deserved it 12 379

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 20:56 - United States - South Hadley

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 844

You deserved it 15 940

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:06 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 426

By Dv0829 - 21/10/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 240

You deserved it 4 829

Losing it

By IamHM - 24/10/2015 18:04 - United States

Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 700

You deserved it 4 322

By danskinnow - 05/10/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 124

You deserved it 34 699

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 308

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 28 778

By MichiganExile - 31/01/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 566

You deserved it 5 949

JennNoVa 8

Thursday 21 February 2013 19:21

I would have made you buy a tube of K.Y. Jelly too. Be grateful.

iOceanus 18

Thursday 21 February 2013 19:22

She will obviously be make a salad to eat while reading.

Comments

icepick23 12

Thursday 21 February 2013 22:56

You are sexy.

FML_14u2c 14

Thursday 21 February 2013 23:09

I hope you picked the largest, thickest cucumber!

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 21 February 2013 23:27

I was going to read it when it first came out... Thank goodness for reviews.

ColbyGB 13

Thursday 21 February 2013 23:33

Who doesn't love to enjoy a healthy snack while reading 50 shades of Grey? ;)

Xotoolyxo 16

Friday 22 February 2013 0:12

Lube?

mrcool4847 10

Friday 22 February 2013 0:54

What a pickle

DDCA 24

Friday 22 February 2013 0:58

You forgot the whip and handcuffs.

Satoaoi 13

Friday 22 February 2013 0:58

lol. good times

Ray_of_midnight 22

Friday 22 February 2013 1:29

As long as you didn't actually have to *read* 50 Shades of Grey. Reading such awful fiction would truly be a FML.

DJrEddyLeb 7

Friday 22 February 2013 2:07

If i was the one making the bet, i would of made you buy vaseline with that book... XD

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 652

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 19 558

You deserved it 226 153

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I agree, your life sucks 30 177

You deserved it 5 663

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 914

You deserved it 12 117

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 944

You deserved it 2 747

Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 434

You deserved it 5 535

Today, someone told me I have male pattern baldness; they thought so because I apparently have a "receding hairline." It's always been this way, I checked my pictures from the time I shaved my head when I was 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 98

Same thing different taste

Team none of them

Losing it

Get on with it!

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