Miscellaneous: Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I...

By FailedEngineer - 20/10/2009 21:31 - Australia

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 272

You deserved it 35 660

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Same thing different taste

Let em in

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 235

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 436

Party girl

By Abby - 11/11/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 39 623

By Sparks - 13/03/2011 07:39 - United States

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 737

You deserved it 14 988

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 4 583

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 180

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 333

You deserved it 15 619

Stuck

By crap - 19/06/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 44 899

By doneanddone - 28/02/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 779

You deserved it 8 746

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 5 251

ruben7467 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 1:31

it happens. thank god you have concerned neighbors. not a fml

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 21 October 2009 1:33

At least they cared enough to notice.

Comments

yousirareamoron 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 16:12

you can just say "open window". "opened window" sounds redundant.

xdropdeadlaurenx 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 19:02

Well then don't drive drunk! It ******* kills people!

lifeasateenager 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 8:11

I wanna know why it took the police 20 mins to get there? oh and yeah you've got great neighbors, mainly because my neighbors thought it was me coming home when I had $30000 worth of stuff stolen now that was an fml my dear

White_Knightspc 0

Monday 21 November 2011 23:25

Be thankful you crawled into your own house. And thank you for making the choice to stagger and not drive. All you drunk bashing commenters failed to see this.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 9 December 2011 21:43

As soon as I read "staggering home drunk", I clicked YDI. You should never get that drunk, but at least you were smart enough to walk home instead of drive home. Still, you wouldn't have even had a problem if you hadn't gotten so drunk to begin with.

angelayla 17

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:05

Wow I love the amount of people on here pretending like they've never done anything "bad". Please. It's drinking. At least he WALKED home to his OWN house instead of DRIVING and running down a bunch of people, then wandering into someone ELSE'S house. God damn you people are preachy. Bunch of uptight bastards with no sense of fun whatsoever. I almost feel sad for you's.