Health: Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one...

By deadman - 09/07/2012 18:25 - United Kingdom - Market Harborough

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 386

You deserved it 2 476

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Same thing different taste

Mixed signals

By kylinsmama - 08/03/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I got in trouble with my doctor for eating too soon after surgery. Why was I eating? Because the nurses brought me food, which apparently I should've known not to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 241

Drop them right now

By Anonymous - 08/11/2018 12:00

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 601

You deserved it 349

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 3 533

Hypochondriac

By Damn it, Charles - 09/12/2022 21:00

Today, I took my friend to the emergency room because he was having heart problems. The doctors recognized him, and one of them had something to say: "Charles, can you not wait until you're practically dying to seek medical treatment?" This is gonna be a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 105

By lilipalmer - 13/02/2015 06:44 - France

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 533

You deserved it 3 428

By toothache - 14/05/2013 12:03 - United States - Morton Grove

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 384

You deserved it 4 394

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 180

You deserved it 7 947

The longest monologue

By Anonymous - 29/11/2012 00:57 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 1 722

That hurts, BTW

By phillij2 - 09/07/2011 00:03 - United States

Today, I got surgery on one of my hands. I opted for a local anesthetic instead of being put all the way under. I soon discovered my hand hadn't gone completely numb when the doctor started slicing into the finger that needed operating on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 462

You deserved it 6 312

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

thundergirl_fml 2

Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:50

I'd be more concerned about his trembling hands considering you're having heart surgery...

torio123 27

Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:15

#70, yes. You're the only one.

Comments

havenskal93 2

Thursday 12 July 2012 21:17

I went in for heart surgery also!! And the doctor came in with coffee in one hand papers in the other! He was trembling horribly! The coffee was about to spill all over!!

CalamityJanette 4

Thursday 12 July 2012 21:56

It's all about the 10 second rule.

jmanh 6

Friday 13 July 2012 5:20

I like commenting on things like this

jmanh 6

Friday 13 July 2012 5:22

Æ comment on a comment. Commenting like a BOSS

Jenn50 19

Friday 12 October 2012 1:19

If you get thumbed down, it'll be because you're comment 118, and about 110 people beat you to that particular comment.

zzzmonkey 5

Sunday 13 January 2013 21:57

I'd worry more about the fact that his hands are shaking!

riveju 7

Sunday 16 June 2013 2:06

Dude, there is no five second rule in a hospital. Disgusting.

comment11111 39

Saturday 14 September 2013 13:08

Yeah, imagine this: Bacteria 1: "Don´t hop on that bagel, it has not been on the ground for 5 seconds, yet!" Bacteria 2: "Yeah, sure. I´ll wait 2 seconds..."