Health: Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one...

By deadman - 09/07/2012 18:25 - United Kingdom - Market Harborough

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 386

You deserved it 2 476

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Same thing different taste

Mixed signals

By kylinsmama - 08/03/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I got in trouble with my doctor for eating too soon after surgery. Why was I eating? Because the nurses brought me food, which apparently I should've known not to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 241

Drop them right now

By Anonymous - 08/11/2018 12:00

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 601

You deserved it 349

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 3 533

Hypochondriac

By Damn it, Charles - 09/12/2022 21:00

Today, I took my friend to the emergency room because he was having heart problems. The doctors recognized him, and one of them had something to say: "Charles, can you not wait until you're practically dying to seek medical treatment?" This is gonna be a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 105

By lilipalmer - 13/02/2015 06:44 - France

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 533

You deserved it 3 428

By toothache - 14/05/2013 12:03 - United States - Morton Grove

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 384

You deserved it 4 394

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 180

You deserved it 7 947

The longest monologue

By Anonymous - 29/11/2012 00:57 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 1 722

That hurts, BTW

By phillij2 - 09/07/2011 00:03 - United States

Today, I got surgery on one of my hands. I opted for a local anesthetic instead of being put all the way under. I soon discovered my hand hadn't gone completely numb when the doctor started slicing into the finger that needed operating on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 462

You deserved it 6 312

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 363

You deserved it 7 467

thundergirl_fml 2

Tuesday 10 July 2012 0:50

I'd be more concerned about his trembling hands considering you're having heart surgery...

torio123 27

Tuesday 10 July 2012 5:15

#70, yes. You're the only one.

Comments

BulldogHoops 14

Tuesday 10 July 2012 9:29

Good luck! Hope your surgery goes well

FalconWhitaker 20

Tuesday 10 July 2012 10:47

Good luck with your surgery, OP. I hope everything goes well.

lexos 16

Tuesday 10 July 2012 11:08

Dude the 5 second rule is just bullshit. Who beliefs such a rule

dsl1123 8

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:32

I hope that you wake up to read this but your FML family is praying "Hard" for you.

Inediblepeaches 15

Tuesday 10 July 2012 13:59

Or OP is on an iPhone. It's very possible to use this app on a mobile phone. See? I'm doing it right now!

yeongji 31

Tuesday 10 July 2012 14:32

Rather than worrying about the five second rule, you should be worried by the fact that his hands kept on trembling.

LexBvl 4

Tuesday 10 July 2012 14:35

The five second rule can always become the ten second rule.

monagro 22

Tuesday 10 July 2012 14:37

Stuff like the 5s rule is useless. It prevents you from building up an immune system

santel_fml 8

Tuesday 10 July 2012 14:39

Good luck OP!

Rianokami 22

Tuesday 10 July 2012 17:35

Best of luck! Hope all goes well.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

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The Top

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You deserved it 233

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I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 4 457

Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML

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You deserved it 84 091

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 279

Today, my flight home was delayed, then cancelled. I've been hiding in the bathroom for almost an hour, just to get a break from my mom's endless stream of celebrity gossip and every other thought that comes into her head, all while she cooks delicious food that I can no longer eat due to severe allergies. FML

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You deserved it 171

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