Miscellaneous: Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while...

By imgonnadie - 07/09/2014 15:11 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 619

You deserved it 4 383

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 418

You deserved it 2 688

By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 308

You deserved it 3 702

Letting off steam

By Username - 31/03/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 717

You deserved it 11 212

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 17:06 - Ireland - Donegal

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 023

You deserved it 7 201

Drama alert

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 23:59 - Australia - Thornleigh

Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 79

By Thanksalot - 30/11/2013 05:58 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 552

You deserved it 4 162

A saint

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 20:07

Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 212

Shackled

By Merserve - 09/07/2020 02:00

Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 148

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 12:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 314

You deserved it 2 984

By painful - 24/07/2011 08:55 - Norway

Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 608

You deserved it 2 654

bobafett892 23

Sunday 7 September 2014 22:59

Sounds like some cool old ladies

MortenM 17

Sunday 7 September 2014 23:01

Old people for 200 please.

Comments

LeMarioShroomZ 5

Monday 8 September 2014 16:31

How is this an fml?

elusiveshame 22

Monday 8 September 2014 19:38

So...did you join the farting contest?

psykojak 6

Monday 8 September 2014 20:50

Ask them to share so u can party too. then bring in the booze.

jessielynn713 1

Monday 8 September 2014 21:21

Sounds like an awesome grandma!

vesuviusse 4

Monday 8 September 2014 21:58

Why is that FML? Sounds like a pair of bitchin' babushkas! Get down with your bad self, grandma! :)

gatekeeper1993 10

Monday 8 September 2014 22:04

that sounds fun

ofwgkta_laceup 11

Tuesday 9 September 2014 3:24

They sound like 2 amazing ladies.

misunderstood504 8

Tuesday 9 September 2014 10:41

how old are you thatvypybhave to stay at your grandmother

samntack 1

Wednesday 10 September 2014 19:37

They're my idols.

dewwahdede 2

Thursday 11 September 2014 6:02

This cracked me up so bad, having worked with the elderly for years it's so spot on lol.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 374

You deserved it 229

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said, "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 699

You deserved it 94 041

The Top

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 047

You deserved it 3 817

Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 130

You deserved it 55 761

Today, as a male in his 40s, I went to "mixed" aerobics. I arrived late to find the entire female class had started intensely warming up. Within 5 minutes I pulled a calf muscle and left limping pathetically past a martial arts class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 518

You deserved it 634

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for refusing to give a found credit card to a woman it didn't belong to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 066

You deserved it 770

Today, it's just another day where my dad sits in the same spot in the kitchen for 12-16 hours, only to very slowly sip on alcohol and nibble on food. If it’s his day off, that’s his excuse. If he got off work, then it’s also his excuse. Twenty odd years of this. How can someone spend their entire life sitting in one spot? FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 185

Today, all I wanted was to spend some time with my husband, since we're always very busy. He couldn't be bothered to put down his video game. Guess I'm forever alone, even in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 140