Miscellaneous: Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend...

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 05:01 - Canada - Lansdowne

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 129

You deserved it 4 763

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By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 371

You deserved it 5 275

By methane overload - 19/01/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 218

You deserved it 3 833

By DMStarsky - 21/10/2011 17:19 - United States

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 586

You deserved it 4 710

By Jimseagoon - 03/09/2018 20:30

Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 851

You deserved it 443

By Aphrodite - 23/01/2010 21:13 - France

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 143

You deserved it 7 743

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 437

You deserved it 4 059

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 050

You deserved it 3 908

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 561

You deserved it 1 618

Hiking is so much fun!

By Sacho - 24/10/2019 20:00

Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 171

The runs

By Anonymous - 04/01/2021 04:58

Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 529

ThatTennisKid14 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 0:04

That takes "shitty sex life" to a whole new level

BreM16 23

Thursday 4 June 2015 0:07

Oh my.. I bet she felt really bad! Well I guess now you guys could take a shower together instead

Comments

CliffyB03 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 6:54

You definitely crossed some barriers tonight.

MrSmush 19

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:02

Well, shit happens

sgtsnipes3094 6

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:25

Hopefully it wasn't your bed Op....

Starzak 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 8:12

This is one of those situations where sensitivity and common sense are greatly appreciated. Not freaking out, getting out of bed with her and taking a shower with her, assurances, smiles, helping wash the sheets, those are all the things that would have likely put her mind at ease. Sometimes regardless of how gross a situation is, you not freaking out is all your partner needs to feel okay.

Calacor 17

Thursday 4 June 2015 8:14

Im not even gonna ask

Crescent_Moon 17

Thursday 4 June 2015 9:25

This is great... Now all I can think about are either people screaming and running wildly while farting or farting zombies chasing people with gas masks.