Health: Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter... - FML

By batsu - 27/01/2012 06:48 - Canada

Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 66 781

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Same thing different taste

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 1 279

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 608

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 606

You deserved it 15 134

Great balls of fire

By Ouch - 19/01/2017 08:19

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 994

You deserved it 2 037

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 01:08 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 932

You deserved it 17 247

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 051

You deserved it 6 600

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 672

You deserved it 8 843

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 702

You deserved it 13 780

You played yourself

By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 117

You deserved it 68 666

By one_BAMF - 25/07/2010 05:06 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 381

You deserved it 42 185

Next

Top comments

linstar 13

Friday 27 January 2012 11:58

You're a ******* idiot!

kendybendy 6

Friday 27 January 2012 11:59

Haha you totally deserve that! Just be happy you didn't make the bet about it being on your face or your dick

Comments

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:20

If you want to be one of the Fantastic 4, why not just super glue rocks all over your body? Then again, The Thing & The Flame must have horrible sex lives...Why not go for The Stretch?!?

mylifeisworse13 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:28

Dumbass

efemel94 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:29

Some mong in my school did that, burning all his hair off his arm, leaving him with blotchy, bald arms.

iamdena12 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:45

so how are u typing this right now?

RevSen 3

Saturday 28 January 2012 1:55

It's rubbing alcohol my friend. Alcohol burns up, lighter fluid just burns.

Jake_ToXic 3

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:09

"sometimes we do dumb shit when we're ****** up" haha

firemedic919 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 2:54

are you really that ****** stupid well obviously so

WLCD123 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:44

(In A Red Forman Voice) "Dumbass!"

Dautrat 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:35

I've done that b4 u have to smother it.

lilmissny599 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:37

And how are you typing this story right now? You're hands are burned? Sure sure.

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Keywords

Work Accident Embarrassing Health Relatable Annoying LGBTQIA+ Love AITA Inappropriate My ex Relationship advice Cute Animals Cats Transportation Awkward Cars Friends Dogs Scams Money Kids Miscellaneous Family Drugs Public freakouts Intimacy Sex Cheating

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Today, my bank card was skimmed (copied electronically) and my account was totally cleaned out. I had only just got paid and don't get paid again for 4 weeks. The bank says it will take 21 days minimum to resolve. They offered me a credit card with a huge interest rate to help me get by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 387

You deserved it 2 698

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 11

The Top

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 946

You deserved it 5 740

Today, I was at a local restaurant. When I went to pay my bill, one of the owners jokingly said, "Are you here to apply for a job?" Since I've been unemployed for a while and trying to find work, I said, "What would you like me to do?" She replied, "That was a rhetorical question." I knew it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 86

Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 718

You deserved it 4 094

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 762

You deserved it 2 715

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 078

You deserved it 4 707

Today, I work in healthcare databases, mostly child abuse, so I'd been looking forward to a weekend obstacle course, organized by a friend of a friend. After getting the details, I realized the event will raise funds for pro-life and LGBT conversion therapy. My new plans involve drinking and moving out of state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 316