Sex, Solitude and Intimacy: Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with...

By Anonymous - 31/07/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 869

You deserved it 17 846

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Same thing different taste

Brutally honest

By thisucks - 28/01/2010 13:59 - Canada

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 367

You deserved it 11 009

Gross

By Anonymous - 19/09/2018 13:30

Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 281

Missed the signs?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 04:00

Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 176

Casual perv

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 502

You deserved it 6 039

That's creepy, dude

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 11:01

Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 98

By Eimii - 06/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 159

You deserved it 3 312

Cougar

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 21:46 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 4 059

He gets around

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 103

This charming man

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 94

By bruh_im18 - 17/09/2016 16:18 - United States - Metairie

Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 047

You deserved it 2 609

A1V 5

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:26

Don't ever be that desperate... ew.

Azlia 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:34

it really doesn't sound that bad. anyone still picking up girls in a bar at 80 has got to have some fun and spunk in there.

Comments

vanny08 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:38

was it hefner.?

abalgatti 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:39

imagine his stamina, unless he falls asleep

gusgus36 5

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:40

gross... he could be your grandpa. if you're that desperate, go on eharmony or something. but even thinking about going home with an 80-year-old, ew.

xchrist 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:01

whats eharmony

oohlalaaliya 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:40

Don't think of yourself as desperate, OP. Tell your friends you have yourself a sugar daddy :D they will never know.

soadgroupie 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:40

mmm grandaddy UGH YES HARDER

adorkable_spazz 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 11:39

lmao

Skyline969 1

Sunday 1 August 2010 11:47

Haha, gramps: "Who's your daddy? Who's your GRANDdaddy?"

singer4life666 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:42

Desperation at its lowest point. Haha.

janelly16 7

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:44

hopefully u were drinking when u considered this

captainPIRATEche 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:46

ahahaha! that horrable! fyl op go get a yooooounger man!

Hump_Zilla 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:56

is that the guy with the old balls?

fernandita91 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:04

lol go get it grampa !!!

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The Top

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 273

You deserved it 4 584

Today, a girl I rejected, who is also a good friend, wrote on Facebook, “I’m never letting a guy get close to me again!” when I finally posted my new girlfriend. I avoided posting her before to avoid hurting her feelings because I knew she was still pining for me. Now I feel like an asshole and I lost a good friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 205

The Top

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying, "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 920

You deserved it 54 589

Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 5 044

Today, I was working as a valet when an old guy came up and wanted us to park his car. He said he had an accident. We looked in the car and saw poop all over the seat. We still had to park the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 784

You deserved it 823

Today, a VIP visited our building. I was put in charge of his hospitality and was very nervous. At one point, he asked me if he could, “Ahem… wash my hands.” Without thinking, I took him to our kitchen so he could use the sink. Turns out he needed a pee. He looked at me like I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 207

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 930

You deserved it 2 511

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 213

You deserved it 19 463

Same thing different taste

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