Sex, Solitude and Intimacy: Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with...

By Anonymous - 31/07/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 869

You deserved it 17 846

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Brutally honest

By thisucks - 28/01/2010 13:59 - Canada

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 367

You deserved it 11 009

Gross

By Anonymous - 19/09/2018 13:30

Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 281

Missed the signs?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 04:00

Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 176

Casual perv

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 502

You deserved it 6 039

That's creepy, dude

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 11:01

Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 98

By Eimii - 06/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 159

You deserved it 3 312

Cougar

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 21:46 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 4 059

He gets around

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 103

This charming man

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 94

By bruh_im18 - 17/09/2016 16:18 - United States - Metairie

Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 047

You deserved it 2 609

A1V 5

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:26

Don't ever be that desperate... ew.

Azlia 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:34

it really doesn't sound that bad. anyone still picking up girls in a bar at 80 has got to have some fun and spunk in there.

Comments

_streets_ 19

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:08

eww that's frickin nasty, I don't care how desperate you are..never resort to that.

towboatdude 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:13

Old folks have needs too!!!!

soadgroupie 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:23

come on people. you know it turns you on.

NoWittyNames 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:30

38 Intresting picture :O

cassidynicole 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:34

gross outttt .

Hwikek 2

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:42

"Is it true?"-Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy 'Cause if it is I hope that he wasn't your grandfather who just needed a place to sleep

BubbaCatLove 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 10:55

Bad night. Thumbs down, my friend.

luckycolors857 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 11:09

oh dear.

nottoocool 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 11:15

y'know everyone has their fetishes..

Rheannon 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 11:37

Can he even get a *ahem* stuffie. hehe. XD

EvilDave 13

Sunday 1 August 2010 14:59

Of course he can, but he may need a little help from his friend Viagra or Cialis.

Keywords

Relatable Shoes Miscellaneous Clothes Insurance Cars Transportation Health Work Cheating Love Clumsy Embarrassing Awkward Food Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Ironic Pranks Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was working my job checking people in at the gym. A sweaty, chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied, "We like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said, "So how did you get the job?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 926

You deserved it 15 103

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 117

You deserved it 3 239

The Top

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 917

You deserved it 12 118

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 592

You deserved it 3 509

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 318

You deserved it 289

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 807

You deserved it 3 855

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 031

You deserved it 13 938

Today, after 10 hours of radio silence, my boyfriend of one month, who pursued me for almost a year and spent the last two days at my sister's wedding weekend being introduced to my family, wants to give his ex another chance after sleeping with her during their "talk about their arrangements for their son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 268

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments