Work: Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time....

By CurtisWogan - 12/03/2014 22:23 - United States - Albany

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter." I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 934

You deserved it 13 475

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Same thing different taste

By Jes_jes18 - 02/05/2013 18:27 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 968

You deserved it 7 690

By guy - 15/03/2013 05:31 - Canada - Port Coquitlam

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 3 362

By fridgemylifee - 13/08/2015 17:39 - United States

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 485

You deserved it 2 985

Hey!

By wtf dad - 10/01/2013 03:15 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 443

You deserved it 3 319

By TronCat8230 - 20/05/2017 12:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 077

You deserved it 2 165

New hire

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Brazil - Jacare

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 551

You deserved it 2 952

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 193

You deserved it 3 814

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 21:40 - Ireland - Kilkelly

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 017

You deserved it 1 686

Dad jokes, part #23556

By ashamed - 28/10/2019 02:00

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 196

By Karim - 12/12/2012 05:29 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 518

You deserved it 3 205

metallica_wins 20

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:40

Giving some mixed messages as a first impression. Bold, indeed.

ThatsMyPie 20

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:42

To be trans- or not to be trans-, that is the question.

Comments

Just2cute2 7

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:50

If he doesn't believe you when you try to resolve it just show him the 'proof'.

drumguy218 11

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:50

you will most likely be tortured with that for the rest of your life

Nightheated 8

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:51

Self conscious trying to tell you something

icemand90 17

Thursday 13 March 2014 12:49

sub*

EddieR7 18

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:51

How does that even happen?

buckdharma 36

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:58

Did he kiss your hand?

annie_nk 22

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:58

Freudian slip, maybe?

Polynomial 28

Thursday 13 March 2014 7:04

And I have a pair of scissors, let's not leave you a lieaer.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Thursday 13 March 2014 12:56

Um, stay in your creepy corner with your scissors. I'm pretty sure OP actually doesn't want his dick sliced off. :P

annie_nk 22

Thursday 13 March 2014 22:26

Send him to the corner with a dictionary please. He isn't allowed to leave until he learns how to spell liar.

XxXBadAshXxX 27

Thursday 13 March 2014 7:18

Major slip of the tongue there

guineagirl 18

Thursday 13 March 2014 7:50

At least you didn't say you were Lisa's mother that would've been worse

1947Chevy 17

Thursday 13 March 2014 8:26

That's how you do it OP keep than on there toes and make them wonder about you

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 94

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

The Top

Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 931

You deserved it 1 547

Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 921

Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 507

You deserved it 320

Today, being a lonely exchange student, I slept with a guy from my dorm who I don’t genuinely like, just to show myself a good time. His equipment, fully deployed, was not even the size of my thumb and the entire business lasted less than 20 seconds. I was lonely enough to let him back in again. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 2 313

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 046

You deserved it 37 334

Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 019

You deserved it 1 992

Same thing different taste

Hey!

New hire

Dad jokes, part #23556

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