Work: Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time.... - FML

By CurtisWogan - 12/03/2014 22:23 - United States - Albany

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter." I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 934

You deserved it 13 475

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Same thing different taste

By Jes_jes18 - 02/05/2013 18:27 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 968

You deserved it 7 690

By guy - 15/03/2013 05:31 - Canada - Port Coquitlam

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 3 362

By fridgemylifee - 13/08/2015 17:39 - United States

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 485

You deserved it 2 985

Hey!

By wtf dad - 10/01/2013 03:15 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 443

You deserved it 3 319

By TronCat8230 - 20/05/2017 12:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 077

You deserved it 2 165

New hire

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Brazil - Jacare

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 551

You deserved it 2 952

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 193

You deserved it 3 814

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 21:40 - Ireland - Kilkelly

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 017

You deserved it 1 686

Dad jokes, part #23556

By ashamed - 28/10/2019 02:00

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 196

By Karim - 12/12/2012 05:29 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 518

You deserved it 3 205

Next

Top comments

metallica_wins 20

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:40

Giving some mixed messages as a first impression. Bold, indeed.

ThatsMyPie 20

Thursday 13 March 2014 6:42

To be trans- or not to be trans-, that is the question.

Comments

abbey728 16

Thursday 13 March 2014 18:17

This made me spit my coffee

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 13 March 2014 19:11

That happens just a slip of the tongue...

pwnman 33

Thursday 13 March 2014 19:23

Lisa's daughter's brother!

nutellaforlyfe 3

Thursday 13 March 2014 19:32

Your fault. Your mistake. Your doing. YDI.

Angeuh_fml 21

Thursday 13 March 2014 21:50

If you really want to be a Princess then ... ok, you can wear my pink dress ^^

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 13 March 2014 23:40

Freudian slip?

TheMystery13 13

Thursday 13 March 2014 23:54

I think this is a great thing to do intentionally, because you can follow it up by referring to EVERYONE with the wrong gender pronouns in this guy's - or gal's - presence. It'll keep his gears grinding.

holliepong 8

Friday 14 March 2014 0:01

maybe he'll just think that you're humorous! be positive, man!

Ali_Br_fml 33

Friday 14 March 2014 1:14

The same thing happened to me (except vice versa) My brother was introducing me to his girlfriend, and in the mix between saying I'm his little sister, and he's my big brother, I said I'm his little brother... We laughed it off. I bet so will her partner.

toy911 9

Friday 14 March 2014 3:49

Identity crisis?

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, after going down on me and dry humping me in bed, my boyfriend told me he was having second thoughts about me while I was away for a few days. Apparently, he spent time with my best friend who set us up. She asked him to hypothetically propose to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 172

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 4 854

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 738

You deserved it 6 644

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 963

You deserved it 7 260

Today, I found out just how much of a psychotically insecure nitwit my boyfriend is. He flew into a screaming rage that I was only adding cucumbers to my water and my meals lately to insinuate that he has a small penis. Yeah, I’m confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 648

You deserved it 256

Today, I was working at my job at a bank. A couple was waiting in the lobby, and not being busy, I asked what they needed. They told me that they were applying for a loan, so I asked if it was for something exciting. It was to pay for their 12-year-old son's burial expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 443

You deserved it 381