Animals: Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead,...

By Anonymous - 23/07/2012 07:35 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 19 245

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 3 440

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 560

You deserved it 61 975

By mhmohyeah - 10/11/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 779

You deserved it 18 472

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 796

You deserved it 9 203

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 668

You deserved it 3 416

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 977

You deserved it 26 216

By Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 937

You deserved it 476

By Tom - 15/06/2009 10:07 - Israel

Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 462

You deserved it 3 593

The bird

By Mariah Barnes - 24/07/2020 08:01

Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 254

By bouda - 15/05/2011 18:19 - France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 072

You deserved it 7 557

oh_merde 11

Monday 23 July 2012 15:58

This could be a horror movie... Or a game. Angry, zombie birds.

shnaky_fml 0

Monday 23 July 2012 15:58

I can't believe the bird didn't fly away :o

Comments

datguy5 13

Thursday 26 July 2012 10:09

What happened to the deal? They're supposed to get out of the way, and we look the other way on the statues being pooped on!

Neex97 4

Friday 27 July 2012 1:41

Sounds so wrong

riptor911 10

Friday 27 July 2012 5:49

You are retarded for running it over a second time. There are better faster less messy options.

nattlecakes 19

Friday 27 July 2012 6:21

What the hell kind of bird doesn't fly away when they see or hear a lawn mower!? Wtf.....

zoereevex 7

Friday 27 July 2012 12:26

Hahahahahah

Lorean 6

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:23

Poor thing well at least u put it out of its misery I wouldn't been able to do it

wonderfool1990 2

Tuesday 7 August 2012 9:32

WTF is wrong with u?!just pick it up and put it somewhere else!you murderer!

mmmhmm11268 4

Sunday 12 August 2012 20:22

Poor bird. •

PHL_fml 1

Thursday 1 November 2012 1:48

Anyone else think of Misery when the woman runs over the cop's head with the lawnmower? "Dirty Birdie!"

Krimzon 5

Tuesday 15 January 2013 6:20

I am really really sorry. Thats a tad traumatising...

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The Top

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 290

You deserved it 18 052

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 123

You deserved it 20 417

The Top

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 338

You deserved it 4 064

Today, my mother is a hoarder and her stuff has taken over the whole house, my bedroom included. I've always felt trapped in my home, but when I can't use my closet or dresser because of her and have a messy room because of it, I feel like I can't breathe. In 3 years I'm moving out, I wish it would come faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 110

Today, my boyfriend showed me his need for speed. It was amazing, except he showed it to me with my new car while running away from the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 027

You deserved it 1 336

Today, it's my birthday. The present I received from my best friend was the exact same necklace which I gave to her for her birthday two months ago. It had been unwrapped and re-wrapped in the same paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 321

You deserved it 4 027

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 821

You deserved it 31 022

Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 531

You deserved it 11 782

Same thing different taste

Clever

The bird

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