Intimacy: Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's...

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 146

You deserved it 36 930

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Same thing different taste

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 688

You deserved it 60 146

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 072

You deserved it 4 506

Common myth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 06:06 - United States - Eugene

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 816

You deserved it 7 966

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 807

You deserved it 5 456

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 794

You deserved it 6 072

Missing

By SignificantShrinkage - 08/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 972

You deserved it 1 921

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 962

You deserved it 7 658

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 6 277

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 468

etchsanity1 11

Tuesday 9 October 2012 16:21

You pointed out your tiny penis to your girlfriend ... Who may have once been a dude... Ydi

lovepandorasaver 11

Tuesday 9 October 2012 16:21

Well you single handedly ruined your relationship...

Comments

noisebox 1

Wednesday 10 October 2012 18:01

Now tell her your a back door man...

GrAmCrAcKeRzz 3

Wednesday 10 October 2012 23:00

Why the **** would you post that on here...

angryyute 4

Friday 12 October 2012 0:12

LMFAO!!!

Sharkitaxrscary 12

Friday 12 October 2012 3:41

Things could be worse.. She could have manly feet and you could have an uncircumcised tiny penis... be positive!

freshx_fml 6

Saturday 20 October 2012 0:43

It's all over ::clap, clap, clap-clap-clap::

coolsunshinebear 14

Saturday 2 March 2013 19:33

Date a girl with small hands lol jk

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 691

You deserved it 3 321

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 577

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, I received my new laptop in the mail and put it on the kitchen counter, where my family charges all our electronics. My mom then decided to make soup and spilt chicken broth all over my new laptop before I even got the chance to turn it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 067

You deserved it 1 047

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 047

You deserved it 3 516

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 618

You deserved it 7 023

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 360

You deserved it 6 169

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 365

You deserved it 2 474

Today, I was really excited to get a new bank account in my name. My parents wanted me to have it so they could transfer money from mine to theirs and vice versa. What excited me less was my father drunkenly accessing it and taking all my cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 212

You deserved it 4 440