Intimacy: Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's...

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 146

You deserved it 36 930

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Same thing different taste

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 688

You deserved it 60 146

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 072

You deserved it 4 506

Common myth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 06:06 - United States - Eugene

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 816

You deserved it 7 966

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 807

You deserved it 5 456

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 794

You deserved it 6 072

Missing

By SignificantShrinkage - 08/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 972

You deserved it 1 921

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 962

You deserved it 7 658

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 6 277

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 468

etchsanity1 11

Tuesday 9 October 2012 16:21

You pointed out your tiny penis to your girlfriend ... Who may have once been a dude... Ydi

lovepandorasaver 11

Tuesday 9 October 2012 16:21

Well you single handedly ruined your relationship...

Comments

aliciamarie1 8

Tuesday 9 October 2012 19:15

Most people don't even notice that stuff unless someone brings it up. Ydi

Fmlsea 28

Tuesday 9 October 2012 19:57

And sex between you two shall be forever awkward !

sikkpsychodoll 3

Tuesday 9 October 2012 20:48

No lie my best friend had the same problem, so i told him to date girls wit small hands so everythinh they grab looks big on there hands.. Try it out

Hellbound_Alleee 14

Tuesday 9 October 2012 22:40

Wither way--that seems a tiny bit shallow for both of you. Really--all it takes is for her to have big hands? Am I watching Jerry Seinfeld here?

NicoleAshley10 0

Tuesday 9 October 2012 23:31

You should've kept that to yourself; now you no longer will get hand jobs.

sugoine 12

Wednesday 10 October 2012 0:17

Swedish penis pump??

Accuraxy 10

Wednesday 10 October 2012 0:38

How would pointing out your small dick be in any way beneficial? YDI

withered 30

Friday 22 July 2016 10:33

He needed to point it out so she actually noticed it.

AngelusCaedo 3

Wednesday 10 October 2012 0:50

6 inches is the average, get a ruler

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Wednesday 10 October 2012 2:18

Why the hell would you point that out?

I3eefChowFun 7

Wednesday 10 October 2012 2:54

Bucky Larson, you're born to be a star.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Friends Awkward Management Work Poopoo peepee Relatable Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise

The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 3 577

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 387

The Top

Today, at our kid's extracurricular, my ex, with whom I have been fighting for our child for ten years, casually admitted that his preferred murder weapon is an axe. This is surprisingly in character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 158

Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 903

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 814

You deserved it 46 413

Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 981

You deserved it 3 334

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 593

You deserved it 17 516

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 178