Miscellaneous: Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months....

By spiderbaby - 06/10/2015 19:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 539

You deserved it 2 529

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 671

You deserved it 18 319

Awwww, how sweet!

By Justin - 25/07/2020 20:00

Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 145

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 292

Sorry, dude

By Aussie mate - 24/09/2020 08:01 - Australia

Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 17:51 - United States - State College

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 921

You deserved it 4 101

By aliqi - 12/05/2012 20:48 - United States

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 313

You deserved it 3 422

Collect the set

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 12:00

Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 140

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 180

You deserved it 4 028

No good deed…

By oops - 04/12/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 36 397

By Anonim23 - 15/08/2019 20:00

Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 238

SalsaVerdeDonut 22

Wednesday 7 October 2015 1:47

I'll bring the gasoline. You just bring the matches.

MagnusDeus 24

Wednesday 7 October 2015 1:50

Nope

Comments

5FDPmetalhead 17

Wednesday 7 October 2015 4:44

It's official. Time to burn the house down.

RealSuperSand 21

Wednesday 7 October 2015 4:46

Everything burns.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 7 October 2015 5:00

Try an exterminator before making your house a pile of ash...

sashakotlik 14

Wednesday 7 October 2015 5:26

im shaking just reading this

Lalala579121 27

Wednesday 7 October 2015 5:31

Be glad you don't live in Australia.

hollyl925 15

Wednesday 7 October 2015 5:51

do you need help packing?

myoukei 31

Wednesday 7 October 2015 5:53

Well, you won't have a fly problem anymore :D

Hildy93 21

Wednesday 7 October 2015 6:07

Fire. Burn the place down with fire.

cyberI7 13

Wednesday 7 October 2015 6:10

1. Sleep with your mouth closed. 2. Buy a Gecko. They eat insects of all sorts. 3. Put a screen on that window.

jenn2119 9

Wednesday 7 October 2015 9:38

Or do as Sabrina on Raising Hope does-- Sleep with panty hose on your head. :P

redbluegreen 40

Wednesday 7 October 2015 6:14

Wilbur would be disappointed in all of you.

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The Top

Today, after a few of my friends decided to drink last night, and my best friend ended up getting very drunk and confessing to my boyfriend that she loves him, her brother came over and gave me a lecture about responsibilities. I don't know what's worse, the lecture or the fact that her brother is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 164

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 091

You deserved it 3 533

The Top

Today, I attempted to bleach the little hairs above my lip. I had it on for about 15 seconds. Turns out that the horrible stinging that I had felt meant that it was not just working, but also eating through my skin at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 510

You deserved it 3 824

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 837

You deserved it 12 388

Today, my parents met my boyfriend for the first time. They spent the entire meal trying to convince him to dump me, all while I was sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 601

You deserved it 393

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 813

You deserved it 3 732

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 858

You deserved it 9 140

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 045

You deserved it 2 044