By Anonymous - 13/11/2015 15:51 - Netherlands - Sevenum

Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 204
You deserved it 2 217
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Top comments

umerin 32

That's ****** up. Please don't listen to her and seek help from someone who actually cares about your wellbeing.

576 4
YoloWhiteRSA 20

I suggest you get a new supportive friend OP.

348 2

Comments

sweetbliss3 37

**** kind of friend do you have? please go see a doctor for that. depression isn't fun. oh, and while making changes in your life- find a new friend.

14 0
pasupathymuthu 16

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7 43
iiTzNeeNerz 26

You sound like you mean well, but you have to understand that there is no easy or definite fix for depression. A person suffering from it will more than likely not have the energy to just get up and exercise vigorously when it's difficult enough for them to even get out of bed or leave the house. Depression is also due to A LOT of things and dismissing OPs depression by saying that they are focusing "too much on themselves" is a bit inconsiderate as well. If anything they need to focus more on taking care of themselves as oppose to trying to take care of others.

35 1
anonymuse_fml 31

#14 - clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, not by being self-centered.

30 1
Keiraquarium 12

"Depression is due to you thinking too much about your own self"... Urm, you could actually not be more wrong #14. Depression can happen for a number of reasons, one of which being chemical imbalances in the brain (namely a lack of serotonin and noradrenaline). It's a lot more complex than being self centred (which really has nothing to do with anything)

13 1
SPN_lover666 27

Gee, who would have thought my depression was caused by thinking too much of myself and not a ******* chemical imbalance in my brain.

9 1
NYGiants1925 22

As someone currently dealing with depression let me say this... You're a moron #14

6 0
Crazycucumbers 8

This is a good example of a person who means well, but doesn't understand what depression really is. If he experiences it, he'll realize how untrue this is.

1 1
kitkatmiaow 21

I think this comment was badly worded. I don't think it was supposed to read as an accusation of OP being self centred. I think I know what #14 was saying but it's difficult to verbalise. I find when I'm having an 'episode' as I call it, if I can try and preoccupy myself with things that concern others, like offering to do something for someone else that I perhaps wouldn't usually do, the refocusing of my mind helps to move away from my depressive episode. It's difficult to galvanise yourself into activity for yourself during a particularly bad time , for example , doing housework or cooking yourself a meal, but preparing a meal for someone else , taking someone shopping or as the commenter suggested, helping the homeless, gives you a none self serving purpose. The feeling of being needed is often a good combatant for depression as depression is closely linked to a sense of worthlessness.

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enginsteve 17

Depression sucks. I know because I have it, and I've had it for a long long time. One of the biggest issues with it is there is no visible abnormality associated with it so people just don't get it. More so people who have never had it just don't understand it. I tried to open up to my brother once, that asshole told me it was all my fault. "If I had just gotten out of bed earlier, or started going to the gym again, or this or that then I would be fine its my fault for being so lazy." What those shitblossoms don't understand is that is all part of it, it's like a vicious catch 22. As much as it sucks, what helps me bear it is I realize that it's not the way things really are. I rationalize it as a chemical imbalance in my brain which manifests itself as bad emotions. And because of that I don't view reality as it really is. In other words my depression is a lie brought on by a quirk in my own biology. The point to all of that is don't let depression get you down ( no pun intended). Find a doctor you can talk to and accept that you have a battle to fight that most people don't. Don't ever give up the fight. In the end you will be stronger for it. As for your friend, that was seriously a pretty shitty response...

19 1
Fsvb 32

Well written! I know how you feel, I have suffered from it too. People can be so cruel and dumb sometimes... Know that you are never the only one, there are people who understand, lots of people! It's just difficult to find the right ones. Im still having trouble with that: finding good, caring and understanding people.

0 1
itsme82 18

Please, please don't hurt yourself. I'm struggling too and I know how much you're hurting. I read through the comments and you have a lot of support here. There are support groups and numbers you can call. I've been through this a time or two op and I promise it will get better. Day by day keep fighting. Each day won is a battle you fought all your own.

6 0
msmedieval 11

Your "best friend" is either an asshole or an idiot. Please find a professional to talk to, although it seems unlikely now, depression is manageable / curable with proper help. In the meantime find some better friends who will support you instead of saying something so insensitive. Best of luck OP!

5 1
Born2Pizza 23

Are you sure that's a best friend? Don't listen to her OP, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Perhaps open up to a therapist instead? Stay strong.

5 1
sNOOBie_fml 24

What a good point. Because killing yourself reeeeally solves any problem in the world! Seriously OP, get some medicine and do something you enjoy. Don't listen to her and confide in someone you trust, maybe a family member if possible. Take one day at a time and slowly work your way out of the deep pit of misery.

2 2
amileah13 26

So much for being a best friend. Time to find friends that understand you better op.

6 1
hardcorefan16 22

Omg you really need a new friend, that is so ****** up!

6 1
Mathalamus 24

You need better friends. It's not ok to say that, regardless of beliefs. In my cynical experience, depression cannot be overcome. At all. You just need to work with it, or around it, and hope your good life is stronger than your depression.

2 2
Iheartcandys 0

You are wrong about that. Anyone can overcome. It takes time and patience. I had severe depression for 17 years, decided to make changes at 25, 2 years of working on myself, no medication or counseling, they never worked. I am as happy as I can ever be. Mind over matter.

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Mathalamus 24

That basically counts as ensuring that your good life is more powerful than your depression. Ergo, you proved my point. It's still there, hence, unresolved.

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Iheartcandys 0

I understand how you feel. When I had depression. It felt like there was no hope, nothing could fix it, it was what it was and I had to eventually accept it. Saw no way out. Believe me, I know. Till I saw a saying "what you do now is what you will be in 20 years" I didn't want that for life

0 2
Sammeydw 22

The problem is what you are saying is good for ten reasons for getting depressed. While medical depression has hundreds of causes.

1 1
Iheartcandys 0

I know the difference between getting depressed and having clinical depression. I had clinical depression from 8 yrs old til I was 25. I can understand why you think like that. It was very hard getting out of it, took 2 yrs. So don't assume. I'm saying it's possible to overcome clinical depression

0 2
Iheartcandys 0

Besides you sound kinda dumb. Because I was telling the person that s/he was wrong cuz the person said there was no way to overcome it. Which I totally disagreed because I overcame my 17 years of clinical depression. It IS possible no matter what caused it. You don't know what I have been through

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DoomedGemini 37

Sorry, no. Some depression can be overcome, but if your body doesn't function properly you can't just think hard and correct it. If I have a paralyzed leg, wanting to get better won't do shit. If my brain isn't working properly, wanting to be better won't work. You can get help and learn to deal and live with it, but that's not "fixing" it. And this isn't just a "I have depression" story either, this is a "my brother, mother, father, and I all have depression". I've seen us off our medications, it's scary. No amount of wanting to simply get better will magically fix us. We have an illness we have to live with and take care of. It's not hopeless, you can be happy with depression. Some people have depression that can get better. But no, not everyone can.

3 1
Mathalamus 24

Sorry, but no. Clinical depression by a lack of something your body needs can never be fixed by your mind. Ever. It simply is impossible. All you did was accept it, worked around it, and improved your life. It isn't resolved, will never be resolved, and trying to resolve it will end in failure. Sorry for the harsh words, but I greatly dislike idealism when cold hard facts smash said idealism to shit. ... If you die by natural causes or something not caused by depression, then you just won the long war, by outlasting it. That is something you should do. And be proud of.

3 0