Miscellaneous: Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and...

FML for mobile
Free

By Musicfreak - 18/12/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 629

You deserved it 30 806

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By lol112 - 02/06/2012 12:47 - United States - Monroe Township

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 806

You deserved it 5 471

Thanks!

By Yuri - 29/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 378

By Cano951 - 16/12/2011 20:16 - United States

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 398

You deserved it 2 610

God's gift

By Anonymous - 24/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I tried to flirt with the cute cashier at my usual drive-thru. Instead of saying, "Thank you," I panicked and said, "I love you." Now I have to find a new favorite burger place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 398

Enjoy!

By sad and hungry - 06/06/2015 14:37 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 564

You deserved it 6 589

But… I'm hungry!

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery after a long day. When the delivery guy showed up, I realized I had no cash, so I tried to pay him using my credit card. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the PIN, and after three failed attempts, the delivery guy just stared at me in awkward silence and said, "It’s okay, I’ll just take the pizza back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 484

How deep is it?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 01:00

Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 280

What just happened?

By Danny is pissed - 01/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 163

Did I teach you NOTHING?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 00:00

Today, I ordered pizza for dinner and left cash by the door so my son could pay for it, in case it arrived before I got home. I told him they should get all the money, but I just found the tip. Apparently he thought I'd miscounted. I'm a server. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 190

Loose connections

By CheeseLover - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring

Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 057

You deserved it 1 272

SmeXikoE 3

Monday 19 December 2011 1:42

Hey, it's me. I just want to say. I love you too And I will be coming by more often with and without pizzas.

gress269 4

Monday 19 December 2011 1:40

I do that every time.

Comments

Tmoney20 3

Monday 19 December 2011 7:00

Haha that's a bit awkward... Think about the bright side! Maybe you'll get the cheesiest pizza in town now!!!

Tvolsfan325 13

Monday 19 December 2011 7:22

who hasn't done that

upsidedownfrownn 5

Monday 19 December 2011 7:28

How do you get so tongue tied that goodbye turns into " i love you boo" woah.

athlete1990 4

Monday 19 December 2011 7:54

I watched a dirty flick that started this way

dapheronixx03 6

Monday 19 December 2011 8:05

thinking bout someone eh??

coolchick1130 9

Monday 19 December 2011 8:08

wtf? how does that even happen?

Altie 13

Monday 19 December 2011 8:18

Haha he makes you weak in the knees, oops I mean tongue!

ed14 0

Monday 19 December 2011 8:44

That was so sweet

Taysia_Elice 6

Monday 19 December 2011 9:18

This is the case where you need that 1 always awesome pizza guy that's like "I love you to!!!!!" :p

Heather645 5

Monday 19 December 2011 9:24

Haha and you did that how?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Music Transportation Cars Work Geek Family Money Kids Weird Video games Argument Love Intimacy NSFW Sex Miscellaneous Teenagers Public freakouts ACAB Cops Health Autism Mental health Animals Technology Dogs Awkward Zoom Job interview

The Top

Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 77

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 964

You deserved it 705

The Top

Today, I just learned that instead of celebrating my birthday as a small group, my mother has invited dozens of family members from all over the Germany, amidst spiking Covid cases in my region. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 192

Today, I've recently been able to enjoy my life after a long depressing quarantine. I've been able to go to the gym and train in my favorite activity, boxing. Now I can't train for 2 weeks after having surgery on both my Achilles heel and PRP therapy. Hello again, misery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 214

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 364

You deserved it 5 300

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 244

You deserved it 5 614

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 017

You deserved it 7 753

Today, I was given a new trainee at work. It was the conniving skank who screwed my brother-in-law and ruined my sister’s marriage. When I refused to train her, I was written up and sent home, while the home wrecking whore just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 248

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments