Miscellaneous: Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and... - FML

By Musicfreak - 18/12/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 627

You deserved it 30 796

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By lol112 - 02/06/2012 12:47 - United States - Monroe Township

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 802

You deserved it 5 471

Thanks!

By Yuri - 29/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 352

By Cano951 - 16/12/2011 20:16 - United States

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 389

You deserved it 2 608

Enjoy!

By sad and hungry - 06/06/2015 14:37 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 561

You deserved it 6 581

How deep is it?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 01:00

Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 277

What just happened?

By Danny is pissed - 01/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 143

Did I teach you NOTHING?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 00:00

Today, I ordered pizza for dinner and left cash by the door so my son could pay for it, in case it arrived before I got home. I told him they should get all the money, but I just found the tip. Apparently he thought I'd miscounted. I'm a server. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 188

Loose connections

By CheeseLover - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring

Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 050

You deserved it 1 264

By Anonymous - 24/03/2014 20:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 570

You deserved it 8 968

It's the thought that counts…

By Charlatan126 - 03/02/2021 05:00 - United States - Hilliard

Today, I finally had a man say, "I love you" to me in a sincere tone. It was a customer, who was high, over the phone. I said it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 158

Next

Top comments

SmeXikoE 3

Monday 19 December 2011 1:42

Hey, it's me. I just want to say. I love you too And I will be coming by more often with and without pizzas.

gress269 4

Monday 19 December 2011 1:40

I do that every time.

Comments

imnutsss 0

Monday 19 December 2011 2:58

I get tongue tied like that wayyyy too much, but nothing so intimate as such..

brick_man33 14

Monday 19 December 2011 3:05

I once tipped the pizza guy by getting him stoned.

fanpire411 4

Monday 19 December 2011 3:10

are you Persian? cos Persians always say 'boo' :P

geon_olam 17

Monday 19 December 2011 6:56

in persian, calling someone "my liver" is an endearing term. if you are persian, at least you didnt call him your liver.

jbsshawty 0

Monday 19 December 2011 3:14

Goodbye... I love you boo anyone could see how similar they are.

hiphop_danca94 2

Monday 19 December 2011 3:17

Freudian slip?

gimmeasalad 9

Monday 19 December 2011 3:27

OMG! I did that once. I was volunteering and I just called someone to tell them that they need to register, and I got the answering machine. After leaving a very formal message, I ended with, "lurv u! Bye." Everyone in the office starts cracking up. I think i did it because thats usually how i end conversations with my cousins. Super embarressing...

sissycullen 4

Monday 19 December 2011 3:40

"Sorry, I meant goodbye, not 'I love you, boo'." "It's okay, have a nice night ma'am." "You too mom- DAMN! JUST LEAVE!"

majorasshole 4

Monday 19 December 2011 3:42

Freudian slip?

Gregabob00 0

Monday 19 December 2011 3:57

I had just got off the phone with my mom and told my boss love you bye befor.

Sarkisa54 5

Monday 19 December 2011 4:28

LMFAO how do u get tongue tied while sayin good bye to a random person???

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 142

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

The Top

Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 289

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 088

You deserved it 2 504

Today, I went on a jogging date with a guy I'd been on a couple of dates with. I was a little worried that I wouldn't keep up, but I did and everything was fine. Or at least I thought so. After we'd finished, he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 94

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 921

You deserved it 2 071

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 188

You deserved it 9 877

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 374

You deserved it 7 304