By CrazyInLove - 10/03/2015 06:02 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 376
You deserved it 7 370

Same thing different taste

Top comments

From someone who has extreme panic attack disorder, OCD and crippling depression, this intensifies my worry that I'll be alone forever. I feel sorry for her, to be honest. That was probably really hard for her to do.

Because obviously we should immediately discount the possibility of dating anyone with a mental illness, right? Or should she have just lied to you about it for a while first? It was probably incredibly difficult for her to be upfront about having such a stigmatized medical condition. If you choose not to get involved thats your prerogative, but I hope you handled it tactfully at least. If you think it's hard for you to get a date, imagine how she must feel.

Comments

Wow, I hope you didn't leave her JUST because of the schizophrenic thing. If you don't click, fair enough, but if you liked her otherwise then that's a dick move. It may well become an issue later but give her a chance until that point. You might find she's got it pretty under control or is so amazing otherwise that you'll deal with any issues.

I think that was wrong of you to make such a swift judgment when she was being up front and honest with you. Neither of those diseases are easy to deal with, and I imagine it is even harder to tell someone that you're trying to get to know so you can potentially build a relationship isn't easy either. In fact, even though it took a lot of courage for you to overcome your own mental stigma, I bet it was even harder for her. I'm not saying you should force a relationship just so you don't seem like the bad guy, but I think you should have given her a chance and not written her off immediately. I feel more sorry for her than you honestly.

Better than nothing, I'd go out with her again for practice at the least. Plus, if she's medicated, it's not that big a deal. I'd start with an apology including the words of the guy above me.

How would you feel if you had told her you hadn't had a date in 10 years due to social anxiety and she just left? Same thing.. if you liked her you should have given her a chance. maybe you're deliberately self-sabotaging and this is about your mental health than hers.

The two disorders listed have an extremely low co-morbidity. While not strictly impossible, the far more likely scenario is that you were lied to. On the other hand, shame on you for not being willing to date someone just because they have a medical condition. Would you refuse to date a diabetic?

Agreed. Most often, they're confused to be the same thing by people who know next to nothing about either. They're drastically different!

Well, we all know why you can't get a date then.

I'm with the commenter above; you manage to overcome YOUR disorder but you can't overlook hers to give her a chance? Pot meet kettle.

Do you honestly think a lack of confidence and schizophrenia are really comparable? That's like criticizing him for not wanting a tiger in his house because he already has a kitten.

CaroAurelia 12

#45, if OP has social anxiety, that can really make life difficult for a person. But I agree that if OP has social anxiety and overcame it, then they shouldn't stigmatize her for dealing with a mental condition herself. And she may be in treatment, which would help bunches.

You should feel proud for getting out there on a date first off OP. It's hard for a lot of people to do something like that especially if they haven't done it in a long time such as yourself. I don't understand how people are bashing Op for not wanting to continue seeing someone that they have no interest in just because she has a few mental disabilities. If that's the only reason Op didn't want to have a relationship, should we really be judging him like that? I mean if you met someone like that and decided that you can't see a future with them because they aren't someone you want to be with, why judge someone for turning them down? It's worse playing around with someone's feelings in the long run and finding out that they were never really interested in you in the first place. Just be honest about what you want in a partner and what you want out of a relationship.

It's sad that you think OP truly "overcame" something that was dragging him down when he was so quick to judge someone else who probably works a lot harder to overcome their mental illnesses. Imagine what she went through! Dismissing a potentially amazing person based on something they cannot control or perhaps something they were born with, that's pretty selfish. I can see why OP is single. I don't know why he thinks he can be so picky.

deathstar3548 14

In case you don't know what DID is, it's multiple personality disorder. A person can have many different personalities , not just 2. Each personality has separate identifies and memories. And to OP: Don't give up you gotta put yourself out there ya'know.