Miscellaneous: Today, I poured boiling water over my instant noodles. A freshly...

By delicious - 06/01/2016 03:05 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I poured boiling water over my instant noodles. A freshly boiled cockroach also rolled out onto my noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 2 342

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Tasty

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 14:30 - United States

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 718

You deserved it 6 836

By notgonnaeatthat - 17/03/2016 20:40 - Germany

Today, it appears that moth larvae can make a water boiler their home, especially during my absence for four weeks. I learned it the hard way by pouring their boiled carcasses over my noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 701

You deserved it 2 219

By Ew-dles - 09/09/2017 20:00

Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 435

You deserved it 640

Clumsy

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:02

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 280

By Lexi - 31/10/2009 20:15 - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 215

You deserved it 36 250

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 963

You deserved it 4 787

Can't feel my tongue

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 17:01

Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 1 116

Yummy

By Veggie dinner - 01/07/2024 16:00 - Germany - Essen

Today, I was boiling pasta and tasting it every now and then too see if it was done. As an afterthought, I threw in some lentil pasta as well. Only after tasting a few more times did I notice the maggots that were now slowly rising in the boiling water. I didn't expect that much protein in those lentils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 287

You deserved it 3 663

Those things freak me out

By Gilly - 02/09/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 477

fuckfuckityfuck 16

Wednesday 6 January 2016 12:34

at least you found the roach at that moment instead of when you were eating it.

VikingLynne 18

Wednesday 6 January 2016 12:27

free proteins!

Comments

tintarroja 31

Wednesday 6 January 2016 12:53

At least you saw it and didn't eat it!

idk_rose 25

Wednesday 6 January 2016 12:58

I can't help but wonder how a dead cockroach can "roll out onto" anything.

Razabin 15

Wednesday 6 January 2016 13:06

Ah crunchy!

ladycube 22

Wednesday 6 January 2016 13:11

oh that's gross /:

InnocenceBlue 37

Wednesday 6 January 2016 13:14

My deepest condolences for your loss.

luvlu444 24

Wednesday 6 January 2016 13:16

at least you didnt end up eating it

Aspen_Grace33 27

Wednesday 6 January 2016 13:21

At least it was sterile after being boiled! But no.....I would definitely lose my appetite after this.

baken101 12

Wednesday 6 January 2016 13:21

Dang cockroaches survive just about anything, also radiation.

Brighton_Cruz 20

Wednesday 6 January 2016 13:24

Now don't get "cocky" that's extra protein.

twilight2002 17

Wednesday 6 January 2016 13:25

ewwww...I bet your over noddles now lol haha

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, after I tried to help my friend bust his cheating girlfriend, he seems to still trust her, so now my office friends think I'm a bigmouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 176

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out the second story window is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 2 927

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 365

You deserved it 1 522

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 468

You deserved it 6 042

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 512

You deserved it 4 104

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 585

You deserved it 3 062