Miscellaneous: Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 06:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 039

You deserved it 52 944

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Same thing different taste

By WOWBear - 05/06/2013 09:46 - United States - Mesa

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 249

You deserved it 13 211

Foiled

By human lava lamp - 10/03/2013 19:54 - United States - New Britain

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 377

You deserved it 49 725

By lonelynessinCA - 14/03/2011 18:31 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 019

You deserved it 9 785

By Jackie - 14/09/2010 20:00 - United States

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 567

You deserved it 49 744

Desperate times, desperate, dumb measures

By WTFiswrongwithme - 03/03/2020 00:01

Today, I was so desperate for human interaction that I asked a deaf girl in my class if she liked music. I actually signed it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 929

By Cob - 03/02/2009 13:03 - United States

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 264

You deserved it 2 438

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 080

You deserved it 75 580

**** off!

By my back hurts - 04/09/2013 05:25 - Australia - Campbelltown

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 628

You deserved it 7 436

By oopsie - 24/05/2009 14:50 - Canada

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 061

You deserved it 245 490

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 079

You deserved it 3 763

Next

Top comments

adam3650 12

Saturday 5 October 2013 12:09

Good God. They're evolving.

yukumariooo 11

Saturday 5 October 2013 12:09

Pretended to be deaf, end up looking dumb... Sounds about fair.

Comments

Sakshi 13

Saturday 5 October 2013 15:41

Then pretend to be blinddd!

FrankHotpants 31

Saturday 5 October 2013 15:56

Sooo if you're born deaf, in what language do you think in??

FKJVMMP 17

Saturday 5 October 2013 16:02

As a former salesman (not door-to-door, just in malls), I despise people like you. How hard is it to just say no?

giraffelovergirl 19

Saturday 5 October 2013 16:06

Why would you pretend to be deaf?

shank39 12

Saturday 5 October 2013 16:35

You can't blame them.. They have a family to feed too..

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 5 October 2013 17:12

Rookie mistake. Go out, buy some sunglasses (nothing too stylish, but make sure you can't see the wearer's eyes) and pretend to be blind. It works a treat.

WhitneyAndGdrago 10

Saturday 5 October 2013 17:21

there's different types of sign language and different languages too at that you should have pretended to know but say it was a different language

LissaMccracken 23

Saturday 5 October 2013 18:14

How hard is it to say you aren't interested in buying anything? You deserve it.

usernaaame 4

Saturday 5 October 2013 18:21

My cousins are deaf, so I know what sign language looks like and how deaf people act. Some asshat tried to fake deaf with me once when I asked directions (I could see his friends laughing some ways behind him) and so I started using sign language (probably said "milk house phone doctor ant" or something ridiculous) until he confessed that he was just being an idiot.

xzxXxzx 11

Saturday 5 October 2013 18:43

Your fault op, You shouldn't pretend to be something your not. YDI

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 45 198

The Top

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 651

You deserved it 36 044

Today, during a class, I noticed some racist statements and symbols on a table. While erasing them, I bent down to pick up my dropped pencil. I look back up to see a teacher, and got a suspension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 579

You deserved it 3 743

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 208

You deserved it 9 413

Today, I went to a Jack's Mannequin concert. I'd asked this girl I'm interested in to come with me, and she insisted that she had to bring her two year-old son with us. I'd told her it was no problem. Ten minutes into it, she said we needed to leave because it was too loud for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 061

You deserved it 10 169

Today, I got stressed and well, let's just say I got carried away, pulled off most of my eyelashes on one eye, and now I have to find falsies that look real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 1 786

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 963

You deserved it 4 583