Animals: Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before...

By RestlessDiesel - 18/04/2016 14:40 - United States - Hudson

Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 078

You deserved it 1 838

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Same thing different taste

Road rage

By Xtine - 23/06/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, while on the road, I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up, and pissing off, several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 617

You deserved it 46 321

Pile on

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 617

You deserved it 12 684

By polish_chik - 01/09/2009 04:00 - Canada

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 304

You deserved it 38 824

Alas, poor Donald

By Hit and Run - 13/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 98

By riddick0846 - 12/12/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 810

You deserved it 13 184

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 11 675

By newly passed, newly grassed - 06/12/2014 17:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 130

You deserved it 8 397

RIP in peace

By avatarnicole9 - 04/06/2015 05:17 - Canada

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 988

You deserved it 2 945

By Anonymous - 10/10/2010 04:29 - United States

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 497

You deserved it 13 893

By JulieClaire - 11/03/2011 01:44

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 154

You deserved it 4 810

chitochito 17

Monday 18 April 2016 23:28

Looks like he'll burn in shell.

CryingPotato 7

Monday 18 April 2016 23:28

Looks like you were too slow heheh... I'll leave now

Comments

xlasxtchanxce13 22

Monday 18 April 2016 23:27

Could've been a red she'll though

Seabass_Chan 33

Tuesday 19 April 2016 4:53

Oh please. Everybody knows the blue shell is the one to be feared.

sempisaviour 17

Wednesday 20 April 2016 7:37

So the turtle's a communist?

laden_swallow09 34

Wednesday 20 April 2016 18:13

Hell, Super Mario is a communist! Y'know, since we're talking about Mario Kart and all, 84. No, seriously, Game Theory did a piece on it.

CryingPotato 7

Monday 18 April 2016 23:28

Looks like you were too slow heheh... I'll leave now

Delta_0DST 12

Tuesday 19 April 2016 16:21

The door is right over there

chitochito 17

Monday 18 April 2016 23:28

Looks like he'll burn in shell.

fmlfreek101 15

Tuesday 19 April 2016 0:19

Please get out.

IcedSapphire 27

Tuesday 19 April 2016 5:55

No, please stay in. Keep the puns rolling.

BillysBurgers 5

Tuesday 19 April 2016 19:34

Unless he has a 1-Up.

SymbioticCarnage 6

Thursday 21 April 2016 14:34

This is kinda funny??.

JaffaMC 13

Monday 18 April 2016 23:28

That truck driver has been playing a bit too much Mario Kart

BanjoCheeseGuy 26

Tuesday 19 April 2016 2:06

He must be really bad at mario kart, i mean, who runs into the turtles, that slows you down!

Firetruck69 16

Monday 18 April 2016 23:28

Don't you hate when that happens?

deathrise007 22

Monday 18 April 2016 23:30

That stinks. Hopefully you can wash the car. FYL

UserError94 18

Tuesday 19 April 2016 0:30

That's the sad part. No matter how hard we hope, washing that car is impossibru

TacoMan32 21

Tuesday 19 April 2016 4:19

I don't think the dirty car is the "FML" part of this

hfslkp47012759 28

Monday 18 April 2016 23:30

I'm gonna cry in 3...2...1.... ;-;

modenegg 5

Monday 18 April 2016 23:31

**** that turtles life and yours since you need to get a car wash now

PotatoesAndCake 26

Monday 18 April 2016 23:52

That turtle doesn't have a life, no more

modenegg 5

Tuesday 19 April 2016 0:31

True

Feklfekl2222 32

Tuesday 19 April 2016 1:44

The author never explicitly says it's dead... Zombie Turtle!

ccameron12 21

Monday 18 April 2016 23:33

Awww that poor turtle. Good for you for trying to help it though.

about53pandas 8

Monday 18 April 2016 23:33

rip turtle ;-;

TrippingOnAcid 29

Tuesday 19 April 2016 9:45

Can we address the fact that it's a tortoise, and that the two are entirely different?

Frillwee95 12

Tuesday 19 April 2016 20:04

Coulda been a turtle. Thay can crawl out of water ya know....maybe there was a pond on the other side?

Sansational_ 18

Wednesday 20 April 2016 1:40

That would be a terrapin. Turtles live in the sea. Okay, I'm done now :D

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 147

Today, my girlfriend asked how I was feeling, because I’ve been feeling down and experiencing a lot of anxiety lately. I said was feeling a lot better and that I finally think I’m on my way to getting well. She didn't agree, and started a fight about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 205

Today, our sales administrator quit in the middle of the shift because he was tired of all the bullshit that was involved with running a business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 164

Today, after months of trying to get my Pomeranian to lose weight (the vet said she needed to lose 2kg), she was finally getting close to the goal. My cleaner came while I was at work. When I got home, I weighed my dog again, and she had put on 0.5kg, due to the cleaner not following the instructions not to feed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 179

Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 186

Today, I wasn't sure if I would have to go to work. My mom told me the night before that she would wake me up if I had to. I woke up, and seeing that it was past the time I normally go to work, I happily assumed I got called off. That is, until I got a phone call from my boss asking me why I wasn't there yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 659

Same thing different taste

Road rage

Pile on

Alas, poor Donald

Nature is healing

RIP in peace

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