Animals: Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to...

FML for mobile
Free

By ThatsNotRight - 31/01/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 903

You deserved it 31 073

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Smoke 'em while you can

By OuttaNowhere81 - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 628

You deserved it 73 921

By Anonymous - 20/11/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 125

You deserved it 66 198

By RingofFire - 03/06/2016 23:23 - United States - Edenville

Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 301

You deserved it 1 754

The show must go on

By gabess - 04/01/2009 01:59 - France

Today, to amuse my girlfriend, I put on her sexy nightshirt and went out on the balcony for a smoke, all while shaking my booty about in front of her window. She laughed, until one of her neighbors shouted, "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 958

You deserved it 10 623

By wishihadpockets - 28/01/2010 10:24 - United States

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 266

You deserved it 43 260

By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 15:30 - United States

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 928

You deserved it 54 313

Whoops

By ER1C - 16/05/2016 12:35 - Canada

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 495

You deserved it 1 217

By nimrod23 - 18/10/2009 09:28 - Australia

Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 070

You deserved it 2 536

By anonymous - 02/02/2010 17:32 - France

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 548

You deserved it 4 271

By Ouch - 10/04/2011 08:55 - Canada

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 905

You deserved it 30 729

Jabulls 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 21:51

#11 remember, booty shorts come in XL too.

gummibehrs 4

Monday 24 August 2009 22:18

YDI for smoking.

Comments

gummibehrs 4

Monday 24 August 2009 22:18

YDI for smoking.

poptart840 5

Tuesday 26 June 2012 5:52

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

TheBigDJ 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 8:29

21 is right

patchery 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:20

...you are the sexiest person on this website.

Biohazard808 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 1:52

oh wow was that you?!? "sniff sniff" smells like teriyaki!

ryguy997 0

Monday 8 March 2010 22:12

are you male or female? and what about underwear? or is that what they saw?

z620 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 4:38

number 25 i can't even imagine a gay guy wearing booty shorts but op bet u had a fun morning

z620 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 4:39

size of a baseball cap?

z620 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 4:41

hahahahahaha win

foodlover123 0

Monday 5 April 2010 16:31

I am goin 2 ask the same questions that #25 asked: r u a girl or a guy? what abou underwear? or is that all they saw??

alexxss_fml 10

Tuesday 22 June 2010 4:09

wow way to put yourself out there

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Transportation Vandalism Cars Love Parents Awkward Dreams Cheating Sex Animals Dogs Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Birthday Family Gifts Anxiety Work Health Facebook Break-ups Social Media Party Relationship advice Weird Dating Instagram Embarrassing Clothes Housework

The Top

Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 163

Today, we got back from vacation. In the lead up to our vacation, my girlfriend talked excitedly about all the sex we could have. When we got to the hotel, I heard, "I can't be comfortable, what if they hear us in the hall?" After we got home, first thing was, "I want to deep clean the bedroom, sex can wait." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 288

The Top

Today, I couldn't open my car door from the inside. I rang my father-in-law in a panic and he opened it from the outside for me. Then he asked why I just didn't roll down the window and do it myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 1 715

Today, my boyfriend and I got put on the Kiss cam at a baseball game. Instead of kissing me, he grabbed my boobs and got the biggest round of applause I have heard in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 223

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 138

Today, my husband and my kids seem to think that all of them sitting in the same room, engrossed in electronic devices, is a valid form of child/parent relationship. Whenever I try to interfere by, for example, suggesting a trip out or a game night, I get glared at like I suggested swimming with piranhas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 262

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 383

You deserved it 23 655

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 631

You deserved it 5 073

Same thing different taste

Smoke 'em while you can

The show must go on

Whoops

Top comments

Comments