Health, Embarrassing and Farts: Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been...

By D.J. - 25/01/2014 01:34 - United States - Houston

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 894

You deserved it 6 525

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Never trust your anus

By JacksFarts - 18/06/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 500

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 296

You deserved it 7 527

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 1 385

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 496

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 305

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 800

You deserved it 6 776

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 487

You deserved it 5 202

By Anonymous - 27/09/2015 07:10 - United States - Queens Village

Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 140

You deserved it 4 062

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 434

You deserved it 4 059

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 505

You deserved it 6 589

JMichael 25

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:24

Not even safe in your own home.

Welshite 39

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:24

At least you had the decency to wait until you left the elevator. Not many do.

Comments

martin8337 35

Sunday 26 January 2014 3:20

As long as the fart is silent, let it rip.

KaylaTackett 18

Sunday 26 January 2014 5:49

what's with the "5ml" in place of "fml"? is anyone else seeing this?

Carsman6665 4

Sunday 26 January 2014 8:46

Sorry to add to your embarrassment but you said 5ML

Carsman6665 4

Sunday 26 January 2014 8:47

I just realized... That's ironic I suppose

mrhe3t 9

Sunday 26 January 2014 13:13

I think the mistake lies with the 'fml' developer team.

Bacontree 14

Sunday 26 January 2014 12:18

I don't see any wrong with farting in your own apartment. I hope you told them that.

jessimarisami 1

Monday 27 January 2014 22:03

Was using a 5 instead of an F in FML a trend for approximately 16 posts?

Cathrin 26

Monday 16 March 2015 21:27

Any FML posted on the site's 5th birthday got that treatment iirc

finklefck 5

Saturday 15 February 2014 4:20

That's why parents don't get keys :)

spikeismykitty 6

Wednesday 2 July 2014 5:49

*FML

niome_fml 9

Friday 29 August 2014 7:05

5ML???

SteppenBeatle 3

Thursday 2 October 2014 4:19

Why didn't you just fart before you got on the elevator or after you got off?

yellowstarburst 13

Saturday 11 July 2015 10:46

6ML

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 208

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 136

The Top

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 596

You deserved it 2 797

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 394

You deserved it 1 155

Today, after my wife’s father made a very weird joke the other day, and it completely bothered me and caused my anxiety to skyrocket, I asked her about it. She told me not to worry and that it’s just a joke. I’ve always suspected he views his daughter, my wife, sexually. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 115

Today, we went to a nice place by a river to have a BBQ. Someone then asked if we could move the fireplace somewhere else, so we went to check another spot. We came back to find a dog had eaten all the meat we'd brought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 896

Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 347

You deserved it 9 123

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 578

You deserved it 26 252