Health, Embarrassing and Farts: Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been...

By D.J. - 25/01/2014 01:34 - United States - Houston

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 894

You deserved it 6 525

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Never trust your anus

By JacksFarts - 18/06/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 500

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 296

You deserved it 7 527

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 1 385

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 496

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 305

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 800

You deserved it 6 776

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 487

You deserved it 5 202

By Anonymous - 27/09/2015 07:10 - United States - Queens Village

Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 140

You deserved it 4 062

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 434

You deserved it 4 059

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 505

You deserved it 6 589

JMichael 25

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:24

Not even safe in your own home.

Welshite 39

Saturday 25 January 2014 16:24

At least you had the decency to wait until you left the elevator. Not many do.

Comments

alex47625 22

Wednesday 19 August 2015 19:04

Did anyone else see the 5ML

XxPojoxX 17

Sunday 30 August 2015 7:02

Big deal.

katjohn11 6

Thursday 26 May 2016 7:40

I would've done it right outside! lol

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Awkward Management Work Poopoo peepee Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 208

The Top

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 494

You deserved it 7 267

Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 214

You deserved it 2 863

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 3 155

Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 593

You deserved it 4 354

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 206

You deserved it 17 070

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 321

You deserved it 49 590