Miscellaneous: Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn... - FML

By fmyarse - 22/07/2012 22:45 - United Kingdom - Blairgowrie

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 596

You deserved it 48 919

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Same thing different taste

Out it comes

By emilyupsidedown - 16/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat. It was quite irritating so thought I could get it out with my finger. Good thing, the kernel is gone. Bad thing, I now have the rest of my lunch on my shirt as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 041

You deserved it 31 802

OK, now that's gross

By CM112 - 27/10/2019 06:00 - South Africa

Today, I found a piece of a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth. I haven't eaten popcorn in over a week and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 1 263

By Dipping Tired - 20/04/2016 23:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 757

You deserved it 7 197

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 346

You deserved it 29 704

By Corn-ed-Teeth - 30/04/2019 18:00

Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 784

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 248

By Anonymous - 27/02/2014 14:34 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 61 215

Pop pop pop

By csully - 10/01/2009 06:34 - France

Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 175

You deserved it 26 812

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 989

You deserved it 58 483

By 8sq - 11/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 605

You deserved it 16 358

Next

Top comments

iipinkette 16

Monday 23 July 2012 2:24

Why on earth didn't you use floss?

Bluemonster3 26

Monday 23 July 2012 2:26

Why did you think it was a good idea in the first place? o_o

Comments

simsgirlgem 25

Thursday 15 November 2012 19:58

Bill Engval: Here's your sign Me: You were dropped on your head as a child weren't you

sonnyrosa 32

Saturday 19 January 2013 13:13

That's ok... it's just natural selection at work. One of these days it'll catch up to you and you will prove, just like so many before you, that the imbecilic will be wiped off the face of the earth for the greater good. Do us a favor, if you happen to reproduce, at least teach your kids not to mimic you.

nh97103 9

Saturday 9 March 2013 0:21

Here's to hoping you don't reproduce.

Steffi 26

Saturday 11 May 2013 13:50

WTF? Why put a missive, meat cutting knife into your mouth?

DontGuessMyName 5

Friday 31 May 2013 3:58

Darwin awards?

knightmareengage 16

Thursday 9 July 2015 22:35

Dude...TOOTHPICK!!!!

Kidd_Ant 18

Sunday 7 February 2016 21:19

I'm just gonna go ahead and describe everyone's feelings here... A STEAK KNIFE!?!? A F&@$^%# STEAK KNIFE!?!?

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The Top

Today, my daughter got home from her first date, angry at me because I scared her date so much that he left halfway through. I swear I didn’t do anything except shake his hand and remind him her curfew is 10pm. Am I in the wrong here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 109

Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 407

You deserved it 3 021

The Top

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. Turns out I had sex with her once about 3 months before I met my girlfriend, and had no idea who she was. She’s been “happily” married to my girlfriend's dad for 25 years. I have no idea what to say or do and it’s awkward, so my girlfriend is getting suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 462

Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 911

You deserved it 56 130

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 773

You deserved it 2 879

Today, I've been trying to make the most out of my short vacation by dieting, by eating a big pot of yogurt with lots of fresh fruit every day. Turns out what I thought was yogurt is actually heavy cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 1 040

Today, I’m 8 months pregnant. The father says the he won’t come to any more appointments, the baby shower, or even the birth unless his new girlfriend is allowed to be in the room when I deliver. I said absolutely not, so he told me to never call him again, and blocked me. They’ve been together for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 255

Today, I invited my Peruvian girlfriend to my parent’s house for dinner. They decorated the house with Mexican flag and Fiesta lanyards, and bought Taco Bell. My girlfriend is vegetarian and had to explain to them that no, Peru is not a city in Mexico. It’s been 3 hours and she won’t pick up her calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 225