Intimacy: Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish...

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By RyanM - 13/02/2011 09:01 - Canada

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 989

You deserved it 64 723

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Same thing different taste

Keep fit!

By anonymous - 13/04/2020 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the phone. She heard I was out of breath and asked me, "Are you okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd caught me masturbating, and I'm so out of shape it sounded like I'd ran a marathon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 1 684

By Jack Shart Jr. - 08/07/2015 15:16 - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 069

You deserved it 18 041

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 02:00

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 355

Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 817

You deserved it 54 649

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 251

Wanking to death

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 00:17 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 759

You deserved it 12 432

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 634

You deserved it 31 331

Getting on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 23:00

Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 292

Knackered and shattered

By Out of Shape - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 127

You deserved it 35 892

DJR_fml 2

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:22

did you know 5 out of 5 guys. **********.. :O

Raddaya 3

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:26

Sir, this is the funniest FML I have ever seen. Thank you for making my day. As a reward, I bless you that you will succesfully **********.

Comments

monster5rawr 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 22:08

how long were you going for to run out of breath? but the misshape might be from to much sex or masturbation

idongeyo 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 22:27

i moded this :)

italianmafia 6

Sunday 13 February 2011 22:29

haha coming from someone with Justin beiber as their display pic

Norwegian_Wood 4

Sunday 13 February 2011 23:10

Ahahahaha! OP, this is got to be my new favorite FML. xD In all seriousness, being out of shape is something you can fix. YDI.

MacItUp 8

Thursday 15 May 2014 22:42

Yes OP be a model of peak physical fitness just like #119....wait a minute!

Zmeilerr 22

Sunday 13 February 2011 23:18

If you've got nothing to say, then why the **** did you post TWICE?

Zmeilerr 22

Sunday 13 February 2011 23:18

If you've got nothing to say, then why the **** did you post TWICE?

chris84174 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 23:44

oh dam dude hang in there just workout a little

chris84174 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 23:47

hey well may by its a good thing you cant jerk off you know the stuffyou can accomplish whaen your not jerking off

smushies_fml 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 23:50

ydi, but that's pretty funny Ahhaha

shandloser 0

Monday 14 February 2011 0:07

and now we know why you have to play with yourself instead of having someone to play with you!;)

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 25 324

You deserved it 2 379

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I agree, your life sucks 12 487

You deserved it 3 183

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I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 155

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I agree, your life sucks 17 853

You deserved it 19 597

Today, I threw a goodbye party because I'm going to live to Chile soon. Nobody came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 135

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 446

You deserved it 7 625

Same thing different taste

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