Kids: Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded...

By MeanMother - 28/06/2012 20:29 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 963

You deserved it 91 228

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Same thing different taste

By mydadforgetsme - 04/11/2015 17:26 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 690

You deserved it 1 469

By anonymous - 06/05/2013 18:08 - United States - Poway

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 463

You deserved it 4 988

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 23:33 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 152

You deserved it 6 042

The blame game

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 14:44

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 787

You deserved it 1 911

By jacky tu - 16/10/2010 03:06 - United States

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 090

You deserved it 7 690

Ironic, isn't it?

By KC. - 25/04/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 8 746

Cool your jets

By Can't be mad - 21/01/2023 12:00

Today, I was a little grumpy. I tried my best to not take it out on other people, but then I encountered that ONE person who doesn't realize that sometimes people are just in a bad mood, and they proceed to give you a hard time over nothing. That person was my mom. And then later my dad. Now I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 340

The gift that keeps on giving

By Katie - 29/08/2021 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend, since we weren't getting along. When I got home, I remembered that today is his birthday. Him and all our friends now think I'm a total bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 1 687

By Ya_I_said_it - 26/07/2016 15:31

Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 627

You deserved it 1 511

What a catch

By Anonymous - 30/09/2021 02:00 - Australia

Today, rather than get me a birthday present, my boyfriend just got angry that I got gifts from other people. Apparently, it "made him feel guilty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 108

gabfoundnemo 5

Friday 29 June 2012 0:57

Admitting it is the first step. To rehab you go.

Vball6 19

Friday 29 June 2012 0:58

Bitch.

Comments

cawoods 1

Saturday 30 June 2012 0:24

Whata loser

masterofdouchery 1

Saturday 30 June 2012 3:07

I really hope "my mom grounded me for not telling her what I got her for her birthday. FML" shows up soon

Dev_L667 0

Saturday 30 June 2012 4:06

i hope he returned your gift and spent the money on himself.

dreadedguardian 5

Saturday 30 June 2012 5:55

Lol...silly bitch.

shamonie22 9

Saturday 30 June 2012 6:38

At least you can admit that you're a bitch. A lot of people are bitches and don't even know it or won't admit it.

ianderson818 4

Saturday 30 June 2012 7:01

Wow! You are a bitch!

simonepedretti 7

Saturday 30 June 2012 7:38

Wtf thts horrible

beclaurela 18

Saturday 30 June 2012 8:38

You are a bitch. Wonder what your son thinks of you because he has to deal with you on a daily basis.

santel_fml 8

Saturday 30 June 2012 9:51

Massive bitch

Roo79 1

Saturday 30 June 2012 19:36

I hope this child has a dad around that's not an ass to balance out his veiw on life or he'll get end up on a bell tower with a rifle! Selfish cow!

Keywords

Shoes Clothes Miscellaneous Relatable Insurance Transportation Cars Work Health Love Cheating Clumsy Food Awkward Embarrassing Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Pranks Ironic Shopping Texting Mistakes Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 733

You deserved it 6 765

Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 239

You deserved it 11 938

Today, my best friend rang me to complain about having to pay childcare fees when she's still working from home. She doesn't understand why I couldn't sympathize with what she was going through. Clearly she forgot I'm a childcare worker who would like to be paid for the work I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 198

Today, a lady called the candy store and wanted to know our ice cream flavors. We have 30 and I had a line of people to help, so I directed her to our new website. She called back, wanting me to walk her through finding it. I couldn't, as we're not allowed, so she called me useless. She showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 739

You deserved it 1 011

Today, I didn't put any makeup on my acne-ridden and newly sun-burnt face. Today was also the first time I've ever run into my crush outside of work, all while trying to parallel park in a car that hasn't been washed in 6 months. I hit the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 070

You deserved it 792

Today, I bought variety condoms. I chose one called "Endurance" thinking it would be extra strong, put it on him, and gave it a suck. I realised my mistake when my lips and mouth went numb. It has benzocaine on to delay him. I still can't feel my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 263

You deserved it 3 953

Today, I went to pick up my dog from a friend's place since she agreed to watch him while I went out of state for Spring Break. I arrived at her apartment. She’s gone and the apartment was vacated. She won’t answer her phone or texts, and vanished from all social media. I’m still making payments on the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 309