Animals: Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when... - FML

By WickedLittleDoll - 01/12/2014 16:38 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 647

You deserved it 8 898

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 22:01 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 19/08/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 347

You deserved it 28 541

No bother

By Geese Ahoy - 14/11/2016 17:00 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 248

You deserved it 1 085

By fml...really - 27/11/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 473

You deserved it 4 117

By fuck teh poleese - 12/02/2012 21:50 - United States

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 006

You deserved it 29 534

By SwordFish8 - 04/07/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 868

You deserved it 64 558

Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 287

You deserved it 9 809

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 5 352

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 603

By Evil_Angel_90 - 10/09/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 025

You deserved it 6 266

Next

Top comments

johobus28 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:37

I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"

sorryheadphones 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"

Comments

johobus28 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:37

I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"

BigLatchZatch 14

Monday 1 December 2014 23:40

DAMN IT GOOSE. YOU HAD ONE JOB: TO BE A GOOSE AND YOU'RE DOING IT.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Tuesday 2 December 2014 0:11

I WANTED YOU TO BE A ******* DUCK! AGH!

GoldFishPony 21

Tuesday 2 December 2014 0:20

I have to question whether OP is named William Henry Devereaux Jr...

T_Young96 13

Tuesday 2 December 2014 5:54

I hit rock bottom when I thought that read.. "I JUST WANT TO **** YOU GOOSE".. And for that.. I apologize.

wilber245 16

Monday 1 December 2014 22:38

Well with some people you scream at them for being stupid, and everybody knows, you cant fix stupid.

Dlzq 22

Monday 1 December 2014 22:41

That's hilarious, sorry for you, though.

patrickeli 15

Monday 1 December 2014 22:43

I wish there was a backstory to this.

Fuaaad1994 31

Monday 1 December 2014 23:44

Op obviously saw the goose when she stormed outside after beating her daughter with a *****.

DiamondGirlj 18

Tuesday 2 December 2014 2:28

Wrong way around. OP got mad at the goose, only to come home to find OP's daughter's ***** thing and beat her with it

PePziNL 20

Tuesday 2 December 2014 3:57

No no no, she beat the ***** with the goose because she was angry at it for being a duck... Uuhm, I'm confused.

piff7 14

Tuesday 2 December 2014 5:21

OP was having a bad day after discovering her at shat on her favorite shoes. To calm herself she took a stroll around a pond. Along the way she came across this goose. The goose was just chilling out like a normal goose and OP needed to lash out on something, anything and the goose seemed like the perfect target

KitchKraft 21

Wednesday 3 December 2014 0:11

You're all wrong. The goose was the *****.

qchris87 17

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

Both you and the goose need help

cheshirecat13242 32

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

Things being what they are has always pissed me off too

sorryheadphones 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"

barfcannon 24

Monday 1 December 2014 22:47

I don't blame you. Geese are the worst.

Oyas12 14

Monday 1 December 2014 22:48

It's ok, maybe you will react more positive to other animals?

joarasmi 24

Monday 1 December 2014 22:49

Lol did he eat all ur bread

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 095

You deserved it 880

The Top

Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 978

You deserved it 7 453

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 257

You deserved it 4 854

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 133

You deserved it 3 725

Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 267

You deserved it 347

Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 077

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 519

You deserved it 15 619